


Our Mistakes

by Maddz2



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Alternate Universe, Complete, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:07:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 36,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maddz2/pseuds/Maddz2
Summary: AU roles reversed almost. A lot about Piper has changed during the 8 years she spent in Litchfield before Alex arrived. With barely any trace of who her old flame used to be, Alex not only must contend with adjusting to prison life but must also come to terms with who Piper has become.
Relationships: Piper Chapman/Alex Vause
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

_Piper! Please don't leave me! Not now!" Alex was in tears watching the one person that she loved, who was still alive, walk away from her._

_"Alex, I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry" Those were the last words Piper said to her. She couldn't make herself say goodbye because it was already painful enough. She knew if she stayed she would never leave, and she wouldn't be involved in any more of Alex's illegal activity, ever again so she had to go._

_She flew back to America that day and she tried not to look back._

That was ten years ago today. A long grueling ten years had somehow passed. Granted the first two years were long and arduous, but nothing compared to the next eight that she spent in prison.

Litchfield had not been kind to her, nor did she expect it to get any kinder at this point. She'd been raped, stabbed, beaten, and yet she was still around, waiting for whatever was coming the next day. She'd adapt as she always had before. She cut her hair, changed her tone, worked out, she was a different person, a person that no one from back then would recognize, and that was exactly how she wanted it to be.

She didn't get visits anymore, not even from her family. They couldn't bear to see the bruises and scars and tattoos anymore and she couldn't blame them. She was no longer from that world, and she didn't need to see them. She wanted to get out, but over the years she developed a feeling that she would never get to leave there alive, and she had no real reason to want to either. Everything she could want she had in there. Sure she didn't get to travel, and the food was shitty, but at least she had power, she was treated as an equal in here, no one looked down on her for her crimes, and she could have as much sex as she wanted, with whoever she wanted. Wins for her all around.

Every so often she'd have a falling out with someone, resulting in her getting more time usually, she wasn't one for good behavior anymore. She could understand it though, getting more time for acting out was understandable. But getting more time without a reason, that was unacceptable.

"I demand an explanation!?" Piper yelled furiously slamming her hands on the visitation table.

"Hey! Chapman, cool it or I'll give you a shot!" The nearest guard commanded.

"I'm afraid I cannot give you one," Her lawyer said timidly. "I cannot tell you who it was, but someone has come forward about your involvement with a drug trafficking incident that allegedly happened ten years ago,"

Piper took a deep breath. "Can you give me any more information?"

"I'm afraid not. You will be notified of the time of the hearing. It will not be for a while I'm afraid,"

Piper heard enough. "Thanks," She walked out of there with purpose, and got through her re-examination for returning to the main prison.

Doggett was waiting for her outside with a towel and bottle of water for her. "Meeting go well?"

"Shut up," Piper snapped. "Come on,"

They walked outside to the track Piper had leveraged to be opened a few years back. She needed to run. Doggett sat and read a book while Piper ran. Piper ran and ran and ran. When she finally came to a stop next to Doggett, her lungs were on fire and she already felt sore in her calves. The shorter woman held the water and towel out to her.

"That bad, huh?"

"No, now that I think about it, what's the difference in a year?" Piper tried to brush it off. "I need to shower,"

They walked back to the buildings. Doggett grabbed Piper's towel, a new set of clothes, and her toiletry set and followed the tall blonde to the bathroom.

Doggett turned on the shower for her, setting it to Piper's usual heat. "No heat today, just cold," Piper ordered.

She stripped and stepped into the jet of icy water face first, letting it cascade over her. She couldn't stop thinking. There was only one person it could be, but why now? How? She couldn't wrap her mind around it.

She finished her shower quicker than usual, the thoughts still going back and forth in her head.

The rest of the day was better. She ate dinner, talked with her friends, read a good book. Almost as if she hadn't been told she was to be serving an extra year because her ex-girlfriend named her.

She slept uneasily, tossing and turning all night long.

The next morning seemed normal again, same old breakfast, same old job, same old friends. Until that was she heard Lorena's voice from behind her while she had been talking to Nicky. "Eh Chaps, I think you have a problem," The shorted New Yorker woman spoke hastily.

Piper thought for a moment, waiting for her to elaborate. "What is it?"

"Just off the bus this morning, you know I bring the new prisoners in, show them to their rooms.."

Piper cut her off. "Get to the point, Morello,"

"Well, Someone named Alex Vause just got here, I thought you'd like to know...Oh also she's been placed in the temporary room with Nicky," With that the shorter woman scurried off so as not to be too near Piper given this information. The tall blonde had a very blank expression on her face, something Nicky hadn't seen from her, it was frightening.

"This is wonderful," Piper smirked venomously before walking away, she needed to think about how she wanted to handle this.

* * *

_"It seems Ms. Chapman is already serving time. We'll have to review her case and determine if new charges are necessary. Is that all Ms. Vause?"_

_Alex didn't know what to say. Piper was already in prison. For what? What could that innocent blonde have possibly done to get sent to prison?! She had no idea and it annoyed her that she was almost worried for her. "Yes, that's all. Can you tell me what Piper was charged with? Or how long she's been in prison?" She asked, internally cursing herself for being so curious._

_"No, we can't disclose that information. Just be happy that you won't have to deal with her," The investigator said before they left her alone._

_"Fuck" She cursed to herself. She didn't know if she would have named the blonde had she known she was already in prison. At least, the investigator was right, she wouldn't even be in the same place as Piper._

* * *

That was less than a month ago, now she was in orange, holding a pillow and blanket set, following a group of other new prisoners through the halls of Litchfield Federal Prison.

"You, what's your name?" A short brunette wearing beige asked.

"Alex, er, Vause," She answered. She noticed an interesting look from the shorter woman as if she knew something she didn't.

  
"Very interesting, I mean, nice to meet you," She replied. "You will stay in here until you get assigned to a regular bunk. Showers are down the hall, each block has their own. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are served at specific times. Outdoor time is regulated and also you will be assigned a work unit this week,"

Alex just looked at her, then into the room with two bunk beds in it. "Any questions?" The woman in beige asked.

Alex shook her head.

"Great, see you later then, the name's Morello," With that the short lady briskly walked off.

Alex felt nothing. How had she let this happen. Her whole world had come crashing down around her and now here she was. Surely this place would be the end of her.

The day went by, she met a few people, but mostly kept to herself. During dinner, she was approached by this wild looking woman, her hair strawberry blonde, but everywhere.

"Nichols," She introduced herself, as she sat across from her.

"Al...Vause," She said, stabbing at her food.

"Welcome to Litchfield, a truly wondrous place to be, before you know it, you'll never want to leave,"

"I doubt it," Alex refused to think of this as some vacation from real life.

"Well, don't knock it till you truly get a _taste_ of all this place has to offer," Nicky said deviously. The way she said it had Alex wondering.

Dinner ended and her and Nicky walked back to the cell, talking lightly, or rather Nicky was talking and Alex was trying to accept this as her life now. They stopped outside their room. "Count before bed is in a few hours, don't miss it," Nicky said, about to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Alex inquired curiously.

"I've got a date with my girlfriend, and you've got a date with the boss," Nicky said cryptically before walking off, leaving Alex's further questions unanswered.

Alex shrugged it off and turned to walk into the grey room. She sat on her bed and ran her hands through her hair as she did when she was stressed. She sighed heavily. What a day. Not spectacular, but different.

"Deep in thought are we? Tough first day?" Piper stuck her head into the room. Alex didn't look up.

She scoffed. "Not really, it's gonna be so fucking boring to be stuck in here,"

Piper chuckled as she came to stand in the doorway. "I can guarantee your stay at Litchfield will be anything from boring,"

"Sure sure, just leave me alone," Alex brushed her off.

"She was referring to me, if you were wondering," Piper came to stand directly in front of her, and this time Alex couldn't help but look up at her.

She gasped and stood toe to toe with her, and Piper mimicked her. "It's been so long and yet you look the same," Piper smirked and walked around her, eyeing her ex up and down.

"Pip-" Piper cut her off, with a confident hand to her lips.

"Shh, Chapman, if you please, we don't know each other anymore, let's not be so familiar all at once now," Piper smiled and gently brushed a strand of Alex's dark hair back behind her ear. "That's better,"

"Pip-Chapman, what happened to you?" Alex was in a complete state of shock. The knowledge that Piper was in prison did not prepare her for this new woman standing in front of her.

Piper shrugged. "Nice try, you know how it goes, cut a bitch here, get beat up there, normal prison things. It really has done wonders for my confidence and I think I can safely say I'm in peak physical condition," She winked at her.

Alex scoffed, rolling her eyes. She took a step closer to the blonde and raised a hand to cup Piper's face, but before she could, Piper caught her hand, and she wasn't lying to say she was much stronger than she was back then.

She glanced between where Piper was holding her and Piper's eyes. She noticed several scars, burns and tattoos on her arm. She must have looked for too long because Piper withdrew her hand quickly and stepped away.

Alex searched Piper's eyes for the young woman she used to know and she couldn't find her. "I'm not her anymore," Piper said as if reading her mind. "You don't know me or what I've been through. But, may I officially welcome you to hell on Earth, I've missed you," Piper stepped very close to Alex then. She wrapped her arms around her, taking Alex by surprise. Piper held her very tightly, another display of her new found strength. She let one hand get tangled in Alex's hair. She leaned up so she could speak directly into Alex's ear, "I have not forgotten what you did back then, I know you haven't either, but I also know what you did now," She gripped Alex tightly by the hair snapping her head back so she could look into her eyes. "You will not be so easily forgiven," Piper let her go, and leaned in to give Alex a gentle kiss on the cheek. With that she began to walk away. Alex just watched her go. At the last second Piper turned around, "Looks like our mistakes brought us together again, it's probably best not to think of all this as the end of your life and who you are, but try to think of it as a new beginning," Then she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex hadn't fought back all, there was just too much to take in, she was overwhelmed, and that didn't happen to her.

She sat back down on the edge of her bed. All of the blonde's words playing over in her mind accompanied by this new image of her. She didn't know how long she sat there, but she was broken from her thoughts when Nichols sauntered in and climbed to sit on the edge of her bunk bed on the opposite side of the room.

"You look like you need a drink, Stretch, want to talk about it?"

"Fuck off," Alex wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

"Oh she did a number on you, or she will. Just a heads up, it's gonna be rough time for you for a while, Chaps, is not known for her benevolence,"

"I don't know her anymore," Alex muttered. She didn't. It had been 10 years, but she hadn't felt like she changed that much. But Piper, unrecognizable.

"If it makes you feel better, no one really knows her anymore," Nicky shrugged. "Sure she has friends, but she's a complete mystery to most everyone…" She trailed off.

Alex looked up at this. "How long has she been here?"

The question made Nicky shift uneasily. "Uh- well- I uh, I think eight years? I can't say for sure," Piper had asked her not to speak to Alex about her as much as possible, so here she was getting a little close to possibly saying too much and she did not want to be a target of Piper's rage, especially now.

"Eight?! For what?!" That was something she couldn't wrap her head around. Jesus Christ what had she done.

"You'll have to ask her," Nicky spoke with a tone of unease but finality.

"You don't know, or she doesn't want you to tell me?" Alex probed.

"Sorry, Stretch, I can neither confirm nor deny," She shrugged.

"Can you tell me anything? How am I supposed to talk to her?"

"I do know this, you'll have one chance, maybe two, to talk to her, but after that she will not waste anytime on you, and trust me, you'd rather have her attention than not, she's done some pretty crazy things to people, it ain't pretty,"

Alex quirked an eyebrow at the other woman. "Like what?"

Again Nicky was clearly uncomfortable. "I can't count how many people she's dispensed of over the years, not proven to be her fault, but come on, they weren't walking out of here and she wasn't exactly broken up about it,"

"She killed people?"

Nicky again was on the line not to be crossed. "Well, that's up for debate now isn't it? But she's ruthless and dare I say heartless when the situation requires,"

Two other women entered the room and so their conversation ended leaving Alex with a lot to think about.

The guards came around for count and then the lights were turned off.

It was her first night there, she knew she wouldn't be sleeping even if she hadn't had the most shocking couple of conversations in her life.

The next day started off shitty, as one might expect after a night of hardly sleeping and then waking up in this same place.

The four women stood for count before she got dressed.

She had only been there for twenty-four hours and she felt absolutely disgusting. She figured she didn't have time for a shower before breakfast, but at least she could wash her face and brush her teeth.

She grabbed her hand towel and the toothbrush she'd been given and trudged her way down to the bathroom.

There was a long line but it was for the showers so she stepped around all the people there to get to the sinks.

After rinsing her face she felt better but she still felt like shit from the lack of sleep she got the night before. She quickly brushed her teeth.

After a moment she dared a glance toward the showers, just in time to see Piper, fully dressed, pull back one of the curtains and step out, a towel in her hands. The blonde fixed her wet hair quickly when she noticed Alex watching her.

"Alex, good morning," Piper nodded as she stepped around her towards the sink to wash her hands.

Alex was at a loss for how she was supposed to act around Piper. She didn't respond, but waited for Piper to finish up.

"Let's go Doggett, come on!" Piper said sounding slightly annoyed as she waited for the short brunette. "If you want to shower, five am or five pm, Vause," Piper said distractedly checking to make sure her cropped hair was covering just enough of her face.

"Uh, thanks," Alex responded and Piper looked at her then.

Piper noted Alex's slightly disheveled appearance. "The first night is always bad, after a while you'll get used to it," She paused. "Breakfast then orientation, but you need to get back into your oranges first," Piper said, sounding generally friendly, but Alex wasn't in the mood.

"You don't need to remind me. I'm a grown up thank you very much," Alex said stiffly, she did not need Piper telling her what to do. Piper nodded, though her expression became instantly more serious.

"Of course," Piper answered flatly. "Doggett, I swear to god if you don't - " She was interrupted by the short brunette.

"I'm right here, Chapman," Doggett said as she came to stand beside her holding all of Piper's belongings.

"Finally," Piper glanced back at Alex. "Do you mind?" Piper raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms at her impatiently. Alex was standing more or less in the way of the door.

"Right," Alex stepped to the side and Piper, followed by the woman Piper referred to as Doggett, walked past her and out of the bathroom.

It was weird being so close to her again, they would have to do more talking and Piper would have to answer her questions if they ever wanted to sort this out, Alex thought as she returned to her room and got dressed in her orange uniform.

She thought back to her conversation with the blonde the night before again.

Given only the small amount Nicky had told her and the few words from Piper herself, she found herself confused. She certainly had not forgotten or forgiven Piper for Paris, that was the motivation behind her naming her besides for the obvious reduction of time the betrayal offered. She didn't know if she wanted or needed forgiveness for that.

Alex broke herself out of her thoughts and caught up with Nichols on her way to the cafeteria.

"Mornin' Stretch," Nicky grinned. "Ya know, I just saw Chaps, she is really fuckin pissed at you,"

"Lovely," Alex really hadn't done anything. "What the hell did she say?!"

Nicky just laughed. Piper had instructed her to do her best to keep Alex on her toes, and she was enjoying it.

"I'm glad you find me so amusing," Alex rolled her eyes, strangely relieved.

"Oh come on, you should have seen your face," Nicky smirked.

"Whatever Nichols,"

"Yeah, well, I wasn't totally joking, she is not happy," Nicky said semi seriously.

Alex didn't respond. She just thought about what that meant.

When they walked in, Alex saw Piper was sitting at a table with her back to the door. Doggett was on her left, with others Alex didn't recognize near them.

They went through the line before they went to sit with Piper and company. Alex sat across from Piper and next to the woman who drove the van, Morello, while Nichols sat to Piper's right.

Alex took a second to look Piper up and down.

Her sleeves were rolled up so she was showing off her muscular arms and tattoos. Her eyes were bright blue and devious, and her golden blonde hair was neatly in place covering just less than half of her face. She still looked gorgeous, and somewhat more relaxed than she had earlier, Alex thought.

"Nicky, Vause, nice of you to finally join us," Piper smirked but cocked an eyebrow at Alex's confused expression.

"Morning to you too Chaps," Nicky grinned.

"Nichols, when did you get back from the SHU?" A thin older woman with cropped blonde hair asked from the other side of Boo.

"Oh ya know, yesterday. I was only gone in that shit hole for what, five days?" Nicky shrugged. It was hard to keep track of time in that small concrete cell.

"Close, four," Piper corrected. "Vause, that is yoga Jones," Piper nodded to the older woman who smiled. "That is Boo," piper nodded to the butch looking woman with slicked back hair. "And you've already met Doggett," The shorter woman just glared at her,"

Alex nodded, but she found herself disliking the way Piper was calling her by her last name. It was no more agreeable to her than it was for herself to call Piper, Chapman. She didn't like it. It made her feel like a stranger to this person she had known so well at one point.

"You must be new, how was your first day?" Jones asked Alex, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Okay, I guess, probably better than it could have been," Alex glanced at Piper, but the blonde remained somewhat expressionless.

"Jones, yoga at regular time today? I know you took a break for a few days," Piper said to the older woman.

The older woman nodded. "Yeah, at regular time, an hour before dinner, are you coming?"

Piper shrugged and glanced at Alex for a moment before answering. "Probably, if I survive until then, I have to go to orientation again," Piper answered feigning annoyance.

"They're making you go again?" Jones asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, it's just because they love me so much. They just can't get enough," Piper smirked. "gotta show some good behavior or I'll never get out of here,"

"You know Pornstache is the one running it today, you better watch out Chapman," Boo spoke up and Alex looked confused.

"Which guard is he?" Alex asked.

Nicky held a finger under her nose imitating the mustache. "Mendez, tall, creepy, lives for throwing people in the SHU, and has an obsessive vendetta against Red and Chapman," Morello explained.

"Don't let him get to you, you know what happened last time," Piper rolled her eyes, she knew how to handle Mendez. Which was to say do nothing and let him do whatever.

"Well, that is just going to make this so much more fun," Piper's tone was anything but playful, to Alex it sounded like she was really not happy with the news.

Mendez was going to make this whole thing torture. Any other CO and Piper would be fine, but besides that she already had to attend with Alex, now she was going to be tormented by Mendez in front of her. This was bad.

"Just remember to breathe," Jones said calmly. "Find your inner peace before you go,"

"But when that doesn't work and you loose it, be sure to kick him in the balls for me," Boo suggested and Piper laughed forcefully.

"Sure thing Boo, and then I'll send you a postcard from MAX when I get there for assaulting another officer," Piper added sarcastically. "Guys, it's Mendez I see him everyday, I can handle him, by now none of you should doubt that,"

"I know that, but I don't want you to go to the SHU again for doing something stupid," Nicky said almost caringly.

Piper shifted slightly away from her. "Thanks, but I think you need to focus on keeping _yourself_ out of the SHU, now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for a date with that mustache," Piper joked dully as she stood and Nicky joined her leaving Doggett to clean up after them.

After she managed to eat her breakfast Alex found herself wandering through the prison familiarizing herself with the layout of everything before she found her way to the recreational room where orientation was. There were a few other people there already but there were still several open chairs. She sat on the end of the middle row. Looking around she noticed one chair up at the front facing the audience.

After a few minutes Nicky and Piper walked in wheeling a very old looking TV and DVD player. They set it up and everything. They were talking amongst themselves until Piper walked Nicky to the door and waved her off. Just as Nicky left, a guard walked in and got all up in Piper's face.

"Up against the wall, Chapman! Contraband Search!"


	3. Chapter 3

The guard shoved her light frame into the nearest wall. She caught herself barely with her hands, but she couldn't stop her head from hitting the wall with a thud.

Piper didn't complain or fight back or anything, something which Alex had not expected.

"What for?" She could barely hear the blonde ask.

"Contraband," The CO announced to the room. Based on his mustache, Alex could only guess he was who they were referring to earlier.

Alex watched Piper push herself off the wall stretching her arms out to the sides and spread her legs slightly further apart, and she noticed how Piper closed her eyes while the man searched her. Alex had a hard time figuring out Piper's real expression, but the blonde looked to be in a cross between extreme pain and anger, maybe? Alex couldn't quite tell, but for sure she saw pain.

Even from a few feet away Alex could see Piper clenched her jaw and closed her eyes as the officer put his hands on each of her legs. Before he wrapped his arms around her from behind, searching her midsection, he patted down both of her arms. He put a hand on the back of her neck pulling her towards him slightly and her eyes snapped open.

Over her shoulder Piper saw Alex watching her but she quickly shifted her gaze to directly in front of her to ensure her eyes didn't betray how uncomfortable she was. Unfortunately, none of the other COs were in the room, and not all of the inmates had arrived yet so there was no one to stop him from treating her like this. She knew it was better to just let him think he was in control. She easily could have flipped him and got away, but she had no interest in going to the SHU or down the hill.

"I will find out where you and that Russian are getting the goods from, and I promise I won't be nice about it," He whispered dangerously and Piper could feel his grip tighten on her neck but she didn't struggle or step away. He was so close behind her that she could feel his warm breath on the side of her face."You can make it easier on yourself. Just tell me and it all stops, or I'll be sure to make it hell for you and all of your friends until someone talks,"

Piper was so close to elbowing the bastard in the stomach. There was almost nothing she wanted more, but she forced herself to remain still until she felt him let go of her, at which point she spun around to face him quickly.

"I don't know anything! And if I did, I wouldn't tell you, I don't even work in the kitchen," Piper spoke evenly.

Mendez sighed dramatically. "Well then I guess we still get to have all the fun," He said loudly as the last inmates entered. "Inmates take your seats!" He shouted and he gave her a little shove as she turned to go sit in the chair facing the audience. Piper's chilling gaze met Alex's who was just watching her with an expression mixed with concern and confusion.

Piper crossed her legs, leaned back and acted uninterested while Mendez began his speech.

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Mendez and this here is the video you have to watch to get you familiar with the prison," He announced to the group before looking over at Piper. "You've seen this so many damn times, I'll bet you memorized it, so you don't get to watch,"

Alex glanced at the blonde, but Piper never broke eye contact with the guard. "Oh damn, the video is always my favorite part," Piper responded, snapping her fingers and dramatically faking disappointment before returning her expression to neutral.

The CO pushed the start button and the video began to play. It looked like it was from the 90's or something, and that prison definitely did not look like Litchfield.

Alex was paying more attention to Piper than actually watching the video though.

The blonde was fixing her hair and messing with the hem of her shirt, completely ignoring everything else.

Alex hadn't even noticed Mendez left until the video ended and he  
walked in and dumped a tub of what appeared to be useless junk on the table in front of the room next to Piper.

"Now that's over, this is all contraband that has been found in and around the prison, for example," He picked up a short slender copper pipe and swung it in his hand as he paced closer to Piper, bringing it very near to her face on the last fake swing. It was closer than she would have liked, but she didn't flinch. "This here is metal. It could be used beat other inmates or guards,"

He noticed Piper had stopped paying attention so he slammed the pipe against the table causing many of the inmates to flinch but not Piper, although she did sit up and look at him. "Chapman, what did I just say? What could this be used for and why is it dangerous!?"

Alex glanced at Piper again who was now smirking mischievously up at Mendez. "It could be used to, I dunno, beat a guard or inmate, but then again, I suppose a more creative person could find some _other_ purposes for something of that size and shape, don't you think?" she said vaguely raising her eyebrow at him, making Mendez grin creepily.

"Only in your fucked up dreams, Chapman," The guard responded.

Alex would have laughed at the blonde's comment if she hadn't been so dumbfounded that Piper had the audacity to speak to a guard like that, especially after the short heated interaction between them only moments ago. It was something the old Piper never would have dreamed of doing.

Mendez put the pipe down and continued when he found his next item for discussion. "Another example is this little innovation. It's just as dangerous, but a lot messier," The guard picked up the item and held it up. It was a razor blade attached to a toothbrush. He leant down to be more eye level with Piper, putting the blade gently to her cheek.

"Chapman, you used one of these once haven't you? You're familiar with the danger aren't you?" He gestured to cutting her throat and then to her wrist with the makeshift knife.

"No, I'm not," Piper said generally, that was mostly the truth. She hadn't needed to use a makeshift knife like that very often, because most of the time people were already intimidated by her, or she would use more inconspicuous ways to hurt people rather than crude weapons. It was rare though in any case. Her reputation was usually enough, and everyone took her threats literally. Nothing usually went past the point of threats though.

"Don't lie inmate!" Mendez stood abruptly and grabbed Piper's arm and held her hand up harshly. She didn't struggle, but she was nearly pulled out of the chair. She had to uncross her legs and sit up so the angle Mendez held her arm at wouldn't hurt so much. "This-" He pointed to the scar on her wrist. "Was caused by a weapon similar to this," Mendez said still holding the razor blade and all eyes were on Piper.

She just grinned and shrugged. "What can you do, things hap-,"

"Quite inmate!" Mendez interrupted and turned back to the rest of the group. "If any of you are caught with one of these weapons, it's an automatic trip to the SHU, if any of you cause harm to other inmates it's a trip to the SHU and depending on the severity, a one way ticket to maximum security down the hill," He said gravely. "If any of you get the bright idea to physically harm yourselves, that's automatically one week down in psych for a mental evaluation, isn't that right Chapman?" He looked at Piper again.

Alex's eyes were wide as she looked at Piper who didn't even try to look away. Piper just reverted back to being expressionless as soon as Mendez released his grip on her.

She rolled her eyes. Most of the other orientation sessions she was forced to go to didn't involve this much focus on her, but then again, Mendez wasn't usually the one to do orientation. Most of the time it was CO Maxwell, or Bell who did orientation and they didn't make this big of a deal about her, they just made her answer a few questions, but that was it, none of this abuse that she was getting from Mendez.

It wasn't quite as bad as she imagined prior to walking in, but it was still not what her prefered afternoon would have involved. She much rather would have been at work.

Mendez continued on for a short while longer about assorted other contraband, but thankfully he didn't call too much more attention to Piper than he already had.

At the end of his demonstration, he pushed his display of contraband off the table and back into the bin which he set on the floor far away from Piper. "Next. You all will get job assignments, to which you are expected to show up every day, all money you earn will go directly into your commissary fund," He explained.

"The eleven cents an hour, that is," Piper muttered, keeping her eyes focused on the floor in front of her.

"Thank you inmate Chapman for your contribution," He said sarcastically. "Next. You will all have to pick up beige uniforms from laundry. Write your actual size on the form. There will be no sagging around here ladies," He looked specifically at a black girl who was sitting directly behind Alex. "Yes I'm looking at you," The girl rolled her eyes.

Mendez talked on about dress codes and other assorted violations. When he finally stopped for a moment Piper looked up at him.

"Moving on. Here is nurse, whatever the hell his name is, Chapman, this part is for you, pay attention now," Mendez said before he stepped to the side and the guy who even Piper forgot the name of stepped forward.

He always distributed the pills, but Piper hadn't needed any for years so she never had to see him. She had been on antidepressants at one point, but she managed to fake her evaluation after the pills started making her feel worse. It turned out that she felt better while she was off the pills than when she was on them. That was several years ago though and she was thankful they hadn't put her back on them since.

She knew what this guy was gonna talk about. It was the same speech every time.

"You can guess what I'm about to talk about. Suicide and suicidal thoughts," He spoke and Piper met Alex's gaze again. She saw the questions in Alex's eyes, but she just looked at her with determination, keeping her expression as unreadable as possible.

"How much time you have, will affect how quickly these thoughts occur but they will occur no matter what," Piper rolled her eyes. She hated this part because it was so boring.

"The voices will say 'do it' 'end it, end it all right now' 'just do it, no one will care, no one will notice'," He paused for dramatic effect. "Don't do it. Don't give in. Someone will notice, it's guaranteed. So just don't. If you feel yourself slipping into the darkness, talk to your counselor," He went on for a while longer but Piper zoned out completely. She had heard this depressing speech a thousand times she didn't need to hear it again.

She distracted herself with coming up with all the different things Red could possibly need her to do in the kitchen after this, and how she could avoid answering any one of Alex's questions.

She hadn't even noticed the guy had stopped talking until she heard the Devil's voice in the form of Mrs. Figueroa. God she hated that woman with a passion.

"Ladies, welcome to Litchfield penitentiary, my name is Mrs. Figueroa and I am deputy assistant to the warden. You are now in our care, I am here to make sure the rules get followed. Also, if you have any questions or issues relating to your womanly health, feel free to communicate with me and I will be sure to take care of the issue personally," Mrs. Figueroa said rather charismatically.

"Yeah you will," Piper murmured, smirking, even though she really did hate that woman.

Mrs. Figueroa turned around to glare at her. "Chapman, what the hell are you doing here?"

Piper shrugged. "Ask Mendez, I didn't really have a choice," She nodded to the guard leaning against the wall near the door.

When Mrs. Figueroa turned to him he straightened out and cleared his throat. "Well?" She asked expectantly.

"She is an example to the new inmates, helping me with the demonstration, as part of her progress towards having good behavior," He answered.

"Right, Nevermind, I'll deal with you later," Fig said sharply before schooling her features and turning her attention back to the group.

One of the girls to Alex's right raided their hands, but Fig ignored her before she continued. "I'm only here as a formality today. This concludes orientation, you're free to go," She paused. "Well not really, but you don't have to sit here anymore, go on," She corrected before she left as quickly as she had entered only moments prior.

Piper sighed and caught Alex's eye. She was about to walk over to her, but Mendes stepped up to her giving her a light shove backwards. "Learn anything from that Chapman?!" He asked. "Maybe not to mess around with me because I will fuck you up," He leaned closer to her. "And I do mean that in the most literal way,"

Piper just glared at him. "I don't know what you want from me, I can't tell you something I don't know!" Piper moved to walk away from him but he grabbed her arm tightly causing her to stagger slightly.

"I will find out how you and Red operate, and I will bring you both down, then I'll send you both down the hill! Now get away from me inmate!" Mendez commanded releasing her roughly.

Piper stalked away and found that Alex had waited for her. "Well that was certainly...the most boring orientation I ever had to attend," She laughed, brushing off everything that just took place. It didn't phase her anymore, she was used to Mendez and his abusive antics.

"That was fucked up in so many ways," Alex agreed. "pretty informative though," Alex said eyeing Piper curiously. She may not have been paying attention to the speeches, but she did learn some things about Piper that only led her to more questions. "What was all that about?"

Piper chuckled although it was forced. "It was about the prison, if you would have been paying more attention to the CO's than to me, then you could have learned something useful," Piper said jokingly even though she knew that was exactly what happened, Alex couldn't keep her eyes off her practically the whole time.

Alex put a hand on Piper's shoulder and stopped her from walking away. "When did that happen?"

Piper didn't even bother avoiding the question but she would be damned if she let herself get wrapped up in all those memories. "About six months after I got here," Piper answered truthfully, subconsciously rubbing the scar with her other hand before she caught herself and stopped.

"Why?" Alex found herself deeply concerned for Piper's mental state, as much as for Piper but for her own sake as well. If Piper was unhinged who knows what she'd do to her if she couldn't find a way to smooth it over.

"I got in a fight, I couldn't handle myself back then," Piper leaned in a little closer. "You are lucky, you only have me to contend with for now,"

"That makes me lucky?" Alex questioned.

Piper nodded. "Yes, it does. No one in here will do anything to you without my say so. You're life is in my hands," She spoke smoothly. "You should be grateful I haven't had the heart to simply have you removed from my prison already,"

Alex scoffed. "You couldn't, you wouldn't dare," Piper was taken aback by this.

"I wouldn't?" She laughed menacingly. "I don't think you want to test that,"

"And I don't think you want to test me!" Alex sneered.

Piper just took a step back from her. "There she is. You have been rather passive since your arrival, I wondered if somehow your fierceness was lost after all these years, but no, you've still got it,"

Alex just watched her. "Clearly you have not forgotten Paris either, as I predicted," Piper paused. "So, I left you, you name me, I get more time, and here we are looking forward to many years together,"

"How many years?" Alex asked.

"Including your little gift? Eight years, same as you," Piper seemed uninterested. "If you are sure you want to be against me the whole time you're here, constantly going back and forth until one of gives in or dies, be my guest, but you will see no mercy from me, all past feelings will have no bearing on how I treat you now, it's up to you,"

"And if I should choose not?" Alex wasn't sure if she could keep her past feelings for Piper out of it.

Piper shrugged. "You can apologize and maybe we can come to an understanding, one that doesn't involve mutual destruction,"

"No, I will never," Alex spoke definitely, but her resolve faltered when a deviously menacing grin graced Piper's lips.

"As you wish," Piper gave a sarcastic bow and turned to leave. "This was your one and only chance. You'll be begging for mercy by the end of the week, only time will tell if I should choose to show any," Piper turned towards her one last time. "It really was good to see you. Obviously not good to see someone you cared about end up in prison, but the principle still applies. It's a shame your visit is going to be cut so short,"


	4. Chapter 4

Her days had been pretty quiet prior to Alex's arrival, she hadn't needed to deal out too many threats. Everyone knew better than to cross her and newbies were quickly brought up to speed on this. Occasionally there would be one or two that had trouble adjusting that would need to be put in their place. This new dynamic with Alex being around though was almost exciting to her. She was going to have fun watching her suffer. She couldn't wait for the day Alex would come begging her for mercy, or come to her with an apology or both. She didn't need an apology really though, Piper knew she would have done the same thing and it made sense, but she wasn't going to let this opportunity to have some fun slip.

Alex watched Piper walk away after their talk. She had a sinking feeling that she may have just let her ego get the better of her, and that it was not going to end well. Piper seemed to have a large network of people around her and Alex just being by herself, it was not going to be easy. Perhaps she should just go apologize right now, perhaps she should have denied what she did, perhaps she should have fought back. It didn't matter now, she thought, it was too late and she was going to have to face the music, whatever it was that Piper could come up with. As she walked the halls, not having any particular place she needed to be, she found herself wondering hw Piper became this way, was this her fault? Did she drive piper to a life of crime? Well, obviously that was her life so of course Piper was involved already, but how did Piper get a 15 year sentence? What did she do?

She found herself in the rec room after a while where she found a seat near the window, virtually ignoring everyone else in the room. She watched the beige suits moving around out there, some running, some walking, some just sitting. Intermixed were a few bright shades of orange who like her had not yet gotten their uniforms. She watched for a while, but it was nearing lunch hour. She sighed before pushing herself off then solitary chair and meandering back to the cafeteria.

She was dragged back into the infinite questions that were still unanswered. She got in line but was so deep in thought that she didn't realize she had stopped walking when someone nudged her. "Hey Vause, you alive? Come on, you gotta move it if you want to eat," It was Nichols.

"Not sure if I really feel like eating at the moment," Alex spoke dryly.

"Well, just get something anyway, you never know if it'll be your last meal," Nicky spoke forebodingly, as they went through the line. "Thanks Gina, is Chaps back with Red still?" Nicky asked.

The woman behind the counter nodded as she handed Alex her tray.

"Eh, I'm sure they'll join us," Nicky shrugged as they headed over to a table where Morello was sitting with the larger woman with short cropped black hair, Boo or something, she tried to recall from this morning.

Alex sat down on the end next to Nicky, farthest from the others as possible without leaving a seat between them. "In case you forgot, that's Boo and Morello," Nicky pointed to each of them.

"Hey there gorgeous," The one Nicky called Boo said, making Alex a little uncomfortable.

"Boo, knock it off, look at her, you're making her nervous," Morello pointed out.

"I am lookin, and I'm liking what I'm seeing," Boo continued.

Nicky rolled her eyes. "Boo shut up, leave her alone. Chaps, is not gonna be very happy with you and just please...not right now!" She said with exasperation.

"Why?" Alex asked cautiously. They all shared nervous glances.

"Don't worry bout it, just eat your food, yeah," Nicky said quickly.

A moment later someone new arrived at the table. Alex dared to look up to see a slightly older woman with fiery red hair standing over her. She remembered her as the person Piper was speaking to this morning.

"How are my girls this afternoon?" The woman's Russian was very thick. Her fierce gaze lingered on Alex for a moment.

"Same old same old," Nicky said chipperly. "Being a real slave driver today eh? Have Chapman in the back fixing something else for you?"

"Yes, where is Chapman?" A shorter woman with long brunette hair asked walking up to them. "I've been looking all over for her, she should have been here by now," Doggett, Alex remembered her name. She wondered what her deal with Piper was.

Nicky rolled her eyes and ignored the shorter woman. "Red, she's not still trying to fix that microwave is she?"

"Hey, I asked you a question!" The short brunette yelped.

"Yeah and I ignored it," Nicky retorted, she had no idea what Chapman was thinking when she befriended that one.

Red's expression softened. "She apologizes for her absence but she had some extra work to do and skipped lunch, she's not in a good mood today, and I can only imagine why," Red said, eyeing Alex knowingly before turning her attention back to Nicky. "She will be at dinner though," Red said before she walked away.

"What was that about?" Alex dared to ask.

"Red's the chef, very prideful," Nicky explained. "She takes good care of us, her and Chaps are pretty tight, been through a lot together in here,"

"So orientation was good?" Morello spoke up breaking the short silence.

Alex shrugged. "Mostly boring, but Mendez assaulting Piper made it interesting," Morello gasped and Nicky just looked at her unamused.

"He did what!?" Doggett yelped but no one paid her any attention.

"Can't have been that interesting, she isn't the SHU so she must've just let him," Bo said boredly.

Nicky ignored her. "So maybe her bad mood and her extra work avoiding the cafeteria have less to do with you than I thought,"

"What did he do? I mean she can be pretty abrasive sometimes was she asking for it?" Morello followed up.

Alex shook her head. "No she was just standing there, it was right after Nicky left. He pushed her hard enough that she hit her head against the wall, he said he was searching for contraband,"

The rest of them shared uneasy glances amongst each other and Alex wondered what they meant.

"He find something? No right because she's not in the SHU?" Nicky asked quickly.

"No, nothing," Alex confirmed. This was all kind of strange to her.

Nicky sighed in relief. "Well, that's good, I'll see if she wants to talk about it, but..."

"She's fine! Chapman is strong, getting pushed around a little is nothing to her," Doggett said in defence. "She doesn't need to be bothered about it again,"

"Oh right, and you speak for her don't you," Nicky spat. "Don't you have some new deity to pray to. Run along now, before we tell Chapman we saw you doing drugs, you wouldn't want that, would you?" Nicky threatened.

"She wouldn't believe you," Doggett defended.

"Try it, I dare you," Nicky growled. "Now go on you little freak,"

"Fuck you Nichols," Doggett before stalking away.

As soon as she was out of earshot Nicky groaned, Boo and Morello laughed, and Alex was just confused.

"Why couldn't you just let her lunatic followers rip her apart, why did you and Chapman have to step in?!" Nicky asked miserably glaring at Boo.

"Hey, don't look at me, it was all...okay fine, it was mostly Chapman's idea," Boo said in her defense.

"She really gets to you doesn't she Nicky. You know, you're adorable all riled up," Morello giggled.

Nicky rolled her eyes again.

"Who is she?" Alex asked trying to figure out what was going on.

"Tiffany Doggett, basically she's Chapman's pet," Nicky said grudgingly. "I hate her guts, I wish Chapman would just be rid of her, but what can ya do,"

Alex nodded.

"So beautiful, what are you in for?" Boo asked Alex, trying too hard to be seductive about it.

Alex was going to answer, but Nicky interrupted first. "Seriously? Jesus Christ Boo, back the fuck off,"

"Fine, fine, you guys are no fun," Boo said as she stood to leave. "But if fun is what you want, I can make sure you have all the fun you want baby," She said smirking at Alex.

"I'm good, thanks," Alex said firmly.

"Suit yourself, but one of these days..." Boo grinned when Alex grimaced, before she walked away.

"Been out of a relationship for too long, that one," Morello said. "You'll get used to it,"

"Thanks," Alex said awkwardly, and they fell into a silence.

"Something on your mind stretch?" Nicky asked after carefully watching the other woman's expression.

Alex sighed. "I think I messed up with Chapman,"


	5. Chapter 5

"Why should I, Nicky? Give me a reason why I should give her a second chance?" Piper grumbled with her back to the other woman.

She was peering through a magnifying glass while trying to reconnect two split wires.

"Don't you think it is a little harsh? I mean she was here for a day, did you even give her a first chance?" Nicky came to stand beside her at the workbench. "Can't you consider that you were just coming off a confrontation with Mendez and you weren't thinking straight?"

"How dare you question my judgement with my own affairs!" Piper snapped, throwing her tools down on the workbench and the other woman took a step back raising her hands.

"I'm not questioning your judgment, just as your friend, maybe you should reconsider," Nicky said gently.

Piper sighed leaning over on the table. "Perhaps I was a little rough, but then again if she already wants to talk then I guess I was just rough enough,"

"She said Mendez was a real asshole to you, and sounded worse than usual. I don't know that I could have kept my resolve for half as long as you did,"

Piper grinned grimly. "Fine Nichols, for you, I'll talk to her over dinner,"

"That's all I ask, and who knows she may surprise you and you guys get back together and live happily ever after thanks to me," Nicky joked but Piper rolled her eyes.

"Okay, that's not happening," Piper threw over her shoulder turning back to the wiring before her. The other woman grinned and Piper could practically feel it. "Ever." She added with a tone of finality.

"So...I can tell Boo she's free game as far as romantic relations are concerned?" The shorter woman spoke hoping to get a reaction and a reaction she got.

This got Piper to stop and look at her again. "No. Absolutely not. No one, especially Boo, is to lay a finger on her, as far as anyone is concerned, she's mine and off limits,"

"Well that's no fun, so you don't get to fuck her no one gets to," Nicky grumbled. "She is pretty hot, I mean I can see what you saw, way back then,"

Piper was done with this conversation. She took a deep breath. "Nik, seriously, leave her alone and handle Boo, come on, it's not that hard,"

"Sure sure, will do," Nicky agreed but after a few minutes of silence she continued while she was pretending to be hard at work, not that Luschek cared really. "So how is it really having her so close again?" Nicky asked quietly as she looked for a different tool to use.

Piper leaned on the table and watched Nicky mess with the tools in front of her. "Can you not? I don't know, if I'm being honest," Piper spoke candidly..

"Well, do you think you want her back or do you seriously want to teach her gorgeous ass a lesson?" Nicky continued, smirking mischievously at her.

Following Nicky's comment "Hey, neither," She waved a screwdriver in her direction. "...and you have a girlfriend, you shouldn't be checking her out," Piper said a little more defensively than she intended and immediately she noticed Nicky's grin widened marginally.

"Don't be jealous if she means nothing to you," Nicky added.

"I'm not jealous. You've seen me jealous, and that wasn't even close," Piper said firmly. "besides I never said she meant nothing to me," Piper answered, turning her attention back to the project before her again.

"Well then do tell, what does she mean to you?" Nicky asked, nudging her lightly.

"She is the embodiment of why my entire life was turned upside down and subsequently burned to the ground. You know she's why I'm in here indirectly, but now more directly, funnily enough," Piper stated.

"Subsequently. Big word there Chaps," Piper grinned.

"Just tryin to keep a wide vocabulary," Nicky shook her head at her.

"So, you hate her?" Nicky raised an eyebrow at the blonde knowing the answer already.

"No, it's complicated," Piper muttered.

Nicky sighed. "Whatever went on before, know that eventually I will find out the whole story, but come on, this isn't like you to not know what you want,"

"The situation is weird, I feel like I want to burn her world to the ground, or what's left of it that is, but at the same time the more I think about it, the more I want nothing to do with her at all, and then of course there is that part that wants to forget everything and start over with her, but feelings like that in here are dangerous and I'd be better off just walking away," Piper found herself really thinking about the whole situation. She had threatened Alex without really thinking, with anyone else it wouldn't have mattered, but Alex was different.

"So..?" Nicky prompted after they fell into silence.

Piper shrugged, clearly exasperated with the shorter woman's line of questions. "Fine, yeah, my goal is not to fight with her, but that by no way means that I want her back," Piper said firmly even though it was hard when Nicky's eyes lit up at her comment so she looked away and crossed her arms.

"Yet," Nicky added.

"Yet? Yet what? No! Not 'yet'. Not ever," Piper was determined. She was going to change tactics this evening. Perhaps doing nothing at all and carrying on with her life would be better. How dinner went would determine that, she supposed.

"Whatever you say Chaps," Nicky added and this time they fell into silence for much of the rest of the work day. Piper was lost in her thoughts. She couldn't wait for outdoor time before dinner. A run would do her well, and run she did.

Since lunch Alex had done a few things. She had a one on one with counselor Healy, who interestingly enough gave her a warning about Chapman and her group of lesbians. Clearly this guy was homophobic amongst other things. She was not fond of him, but he didn't seem as bad as Mendez. Afterwards she got her beige uniform from laundry where she had an interesting interaction with Doggett. The shorter woman was talking nonstop about how good Chapman was to her and how she shouldn't be wasting her time with people like Alex. Alex was intrigued by this relationship between the shorter brunette and Piper, but she shrugged it off for now. When she was done with that, she found her way to the library and checked out a random book. She found a window to sit by and tried to escape her current world, to no avail however. She mostly just sat there staring at the pages and thought. She thought about how she got there, she thought about orientation, she thought about what Piper had said, and she thought about her conversation with Nicky and Morello over lunch. NIkcy had said she was going to talk to Piper but that she couldn't make any promises. She wondered how that went, but she figured it wouldn't be long before she found out.

Dinner was fast approaching and she returned her book to the library before heading for the cafeteria.

She caught up with Nicky who was keen on endlessly talking about all sorts of things, only stopping occasionally to greet her buddies as she saw them. The cafeteria was bustling with activity, but it smelled like shit.

They got in the line even though she was sure she still wouldn't find any of the food appetizing.

As they approached the counter, Nicky greeted Piper and Red. Piper responded to Nicky, but kept her eyes on Alex. Her gaze was cold and unforgiving, Alex wanted to look away, but she couldn't. Piper cut off the eye contact first resuming her conversation with the older woman, then briefly stopped one of the kitchen girls who came from the back. Alex found herself wondering what was up but let it go.

She followed the line, trying to ignore that Piper was there at all. She got her tray and food, if it could be called that. She noticed quickly that it was significantly a smaller portion than what she'd seen served to Nicky before her. She sighed. It was Piper's doing no doubt. She assumed it was only the beginning of what Piper had in store for her, and it also showed that Nicky's talk with her had no effect. She didn't argue though. She knew how prison's worked, it shouldn't be a surprise. It was only a shock that it was being enforced by Piper.

She was going to sit with Nicky but the other woman just nodded to a different table. "Chapman will be joining you shortly,"

Alex had not worked out anything she could say to her yet, but this was a start she supposed.

Doggett, the short woman with longer dark hair and pale skin walked over and set a tray down across from her.

"That seat's taken," Alex hissed. The other woman just glared at her and walked away leaving it there.

"Thank you, Doggett," Alex heard Piper's smooth voice behind her. Piper swiftly took a seat across from her.

"I've heard you want to talk. That was faster than I thought, it's only been a few hours," Piper grinned mischievously leaning forward a little. "I cannot wait to hear what you have to say,"

Alex had been thinking about her all day and now, once again face to face with this mystery of a person, and she had no words.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex laughed humorlessly. "This was stupid, why do I try?"

"You literally have not tried anything, you haven't said anything," Piper said curious of what was going on the other woman's mind. "If anyone is trying, it's me. I absolutely did not have to listen to Nicky, but she convinced me. Maybe it was a mistake to trust her on this," Piper made to leave but Alex grabbed her wrist.

"Wait please, can't we talk about this?" Alex spoke evenly, but her eyes were pleading. Piper sighed and sat down again.

"Talk about it? Sure let's talk. What do you want to talk about?" Piper was getting fired up. She had to remind herself to breathe. "Want to go back to Paris? Want to talk about why you named me? All I need is an apology and we can just pretend each other doesn't exist,"

"Why should I apologize to you?! You left me in Paris! You should be apologizing to me!"

Piper grinned. "And there it is. Paris. Good ol' Paris. Such a wonderful time. I will never apologize for leaving then, I had to. I regret that it put me on a path to be here today, but clearly, I'd be here either way, so I guess my only regret is ever having left that bar with you,"

Alex couldn't breathe. "What?"

Piper leaned forward. "You heard me, I wish we hadn't met,"

Alex just looked at her. She couldn't begin to imagine what Piper had been through, but none of it could have been good. "So you blame me for everything that's happened between then and now?! That's not fair! I didn't put you in here! I didn't know you were in here! I don't even know why you're in here,"

"No, I didn't say that, just things would have been very different," Piper leaned back and sighed, thinking back on why she was there. She had mostly blocked the event from her memory, but every so often she was forced back into the memories. A truly gruesome event. She hadn't ever thought she was capable of such horrors. There was so much blood. So much blood. "Well, maybe someday you'll find out why I'm here, and you'll never look at me the same again," She spoke quietly then paused. She cleared her throat before speaking again. "Well, we can continue this or -" Piper practically jumped out of her seat, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun around quickly, but sighed when she saw who it was. "- Fuck! Norma! Don't do that!"

It was Norma, Red's mute assistant, who Piper had come to appreciate, although her tactics for getting Piper's attention got tiring occasionally.

Alex looked the older woman up and down. She was not very tall, she had weathered features and graying hair. Alex wondered what she'd done to be in a place like this. Actually, she wondered what most of these people around her did, but she assumed she would find out eventually, after all, she had plenty of time to get to know them.

"What?" Piper said while she watched Norma.

Norma made a series of gestures and Piper nodded. Alex just watched and wondered how Piper managed to understand the older woman.

"Red? Oh how perfect, I needed to talk to her too, I'll be there in a minute," Piper said, turning back to the table, but Norma tugged on her arm. "Okay, okay, I'll go now,"

She motioned for Alex to follow her. And she stopped at the table where Nicky and company were sitting. "Sit here, we'll talk later," Norma tugged on Piper's arm some more while she waited for Alex to sit down again.

"Looks like it's pretty important Chaps, better get going, ma won't be too happy if you keep her waiting," Nicky chuckled, but she knew what Red was like and it really was better to not keep her waiting.

Piper rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, okay, seems like I don't have a choice,"

"Ladies," Piper gave a quick nod to them. "Alex," She caught Alex's eye and winked just as she walked away.

"Damn you guys are fuckin weird," Nicky said when Piper was out of earshot and Alex had looked back down at her food.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Alex asked dubiously glancing up at the wild-haired woman.

"What I means is, that Chaps is actin a little funny, and it's creepin me out," Nicky elaborated.

"Right," Alex replied dryly. "Yeah she's acting pretty damn strange," She added sarcastically.

"Okay, well you haven't seen her for ten years, so you don't know." Nicky nudged Morello. "You noticed though didn't you?"

The Italian brunette shook her head. "Not really, but if you think so, maybe it's because she had a shorter run than usual today, I dunno, I didn't really notice," Morello shrugged.

"Nope I don't buy it. Stretch, it must be your fault, what'd you do with our Chapman?" Nicky asked jokingly.

"Oh yeah, sorry, did I not mention I took her out behind the electrical shed earlier today," Alex pretended to think. "Yeah, that probably did it. Must have brought back too many _special_ memories for her to handle," She said as seriously as she could. In the time she had been sitting there listening to them, she got the sense they didn't mind jokes now and then.

Nicky, Morello and Doggett all just gaped at her.

Alex adjusted her glasses. "What?" She raised an eyebrow at them.

Morello dropped her fork. "You aren't serious?" The Italian brunette asked.

"You fucked her?!" Doggett yelped. "I swear to god I will cut you-" Nicky cut her off.

"You didn't really though, right?" Nicky asked quickly.

"Fuck no, it was a joke, when would I have had the chance?!" Alex smirked when a grin broke across Nicky's face.

"Christ, don't do that to me, Stretch," Nicky laughed.

"Do what?" Alex feigned innocence, but she kind of wanted to know why they all got so serious all of the sudden. She would admit she hadn't been expecting that reaction. "I am a criminal, what do you expect?"

"Shit, Morello, are you hearin this?" Nicky asked, now chuckling lightly.

"You have an interesting sense of humor, Vause," Morello picked up her fork again and pointed it in Alex's direction. "I think you'll fit in just fine here,"

"Oh great, just what I always wanted: to be part of a prison family composed of strangers who wouldn't be caught dead with each other on the outside," Alex stated as she glanced back towards the kitchen to see Piper talking with the red-headed Russian.

Nicky mocked hurt at her comment. "Stretch, your words wound me. I feel like I've really gotten to know you over the last day or so,"

"I've hardly said anything," Alex turned back around. "You only know what you heard from - _Chapman_..." Calling Piper by her last name wasn't going to work for her. Even though they weren't in a relationship, it felt too weird for her to call the blonde by her last name. Alex didn't like it. It didn't feel right. "...and if I knew her as well as I think I did, then there's no way she told you very much,"

"If you think so, Stretch," Nicky responded vaguely, making Alex think a little but she didn't dwell on it for too long because Nicky continued speaking. "I know Chapman pretty well though myself,"

Doggett scoffed. "Neither of you know her like I do, I understand her," Alex looked at her in disbelief. "Y'all don't know nothin bout Chapman!"

Nicky rolled her eyes, but Alex spoke up first. "What is it with you?!" Alex glared at the short brunette who was really starting to get on her nerves.

Doggett was messing with a strand of her hair as she kept her gaze on Alex. "I probably knew her the best out of anyone, even her own family!"

"I assure you, no matter what she has told you, you don't know her," Alex said firmly.

The shorter woman seemed unaffected though when she spoke. "Somebody jealous maybe?"

Alex folded her arms across her chest. "No, I'm not jealous of your fucked up master-servant relationship you have with Piper," Alex adjusted her glasses again and leaned down slightly over the other woman. "And I'm telling you that you will _never_ know her like I did, I guarantee it,"

"You see there's the thing Vause, you 'did' know her, in the past tense," Doggett countered. "Where as I-" She pointed to herself dramatically. "-know her in the present,"

"Okay okay, you both know Chaps, no need to fight over it," Nicky said as she and Morello stood taking their trays to put away.

Alex and Doggett did the same and made their way out of the cafeteria. Alex glanced back one more time but she couldn't see Piper anymore, she wondered where the blonde went.

"Hey, you!" Doggett said, getting Alex's attention. Nicky and Morello had continued talking and walking though.

"What do you want?" Alex asked distractedly.

"Who me? What do I want?" Doggett asked rhetorically. "What I want is for you to stay away from Chapman," Alex wasn't entirely interested in what the short brunette had to say. "Hey, I'm talkin to you, do you hear what I'm saying?!"

Alex waved her off. "Yeah yeah, 'stay away from Piper' whatever, look, you don't scare me and I can do whatever the hell I want," Alex ended harshly.


	7. Chapter 7

Alex waved her off. "Yeah yeah, 'stay away from Piper' whatever, look, you don't scare me and I can do whatever the hell I want," Alex ended harshly.

"Not exactly," Alex heard Piper's voice behind her and she spun around to see her walk up to them. "Doggett, where'd Nic go?"

"She took off with Morello, they're probably sexing it up by now," The short brunette answered.

Alex watched a mixed look of amusement and disgust cross Piper's face. "I doubt it," Piper had noticed Nicky's relationship with Morello seemed to be strained recently. She made a note to talk to Nicky about it later.  
"But either way, I didn't need to know that, can you go find me a new book from the library?" Piper said, impatiently saying anything to get the short brunette to go somewhere else.

"What book do-" Piper cut her off.

"Any book, go, now," Piper said sharply. Sometimes Doggett really got on her nerves. The short brunette nodded and stalked away.

"We need to finish our talk," Alex stated as she watched the short brunette walk away down the hall. She turned around to see the blonde gazing at her intently.

"You're damn right, but not here," Piper said before brushing past her and striding confidently down the hallway. Alex rolled her eyes and followed after her.

Piper led them to a side hallway that she knew didn't get a lot of use. There wasn't anyone else around at the moment, which was good because Piper had a feeling this little talk was going to get pretty heated pretty fast just as before.

There was a window overlooking the yard and Piper had stopped with her back to Alex.

"How the fuck did we get stuck in the same place?!" Alex asked angrily thinking out loud now that they were alone. Piper could hear Alex pacing the floor behind her.

"I never considered myself unlucky, but damn, this little coincidence is pretty fucking unlucky and unbelievable," Alex continued.

"Is it?" Piper asked, still looking out the window, watching a few birds flying over the trees just beyond the fences. "Is it unlucky?"

"Yes, of course it is!" Alex snapped. "After you left, that was supposed to be it. After you broke my heart in Paris, it was supposed to be over, but now here we are, in the same place having to deal with each other again ten years later," Well, she didn't want to be mad at Piper, but she couldn't help it because she was really fuckin pissed. It didn't help that when Piper answered, her voice lacked any reaction which riled Alex up even more.

"Do you think my heart wasn't broken too? Do you think I was fine? Do you think I wanted to leave?" Piper asked, her voice dangerously even. Compared to her anger earlier this was eerily unsettling. "We both had our choices Alex and I wasn't yours and I knew I never would be, so I had to leave, I didn't have a choice,"

Alex stopped pacing to look at her curiously. She didn't understand what Piper was saying. "What are you talking about? I didn't ask you to leave me, I asked you to stay!"

Piper did not want to get into this right now, but there was little else to do. "It's hard to believe it's really been ten years," Piper said, her voice distant as she kept her gaze out the window. "I've been in here so long, I lose track occasionally, which is good sometimes when I want to forget but really fucking awful when I want to remember,"

If she wasn't so angry at the moment, it would probably hurt her to see Piper like this, but it didn't. Maybe now that they were alone though Piper would answer some of the questions that have been running on repeat and plaguing her mind all evening.

"How long have you been in here?"

Piper shrugged. "A really long time, it doesn't matter though,"

"Christ, what the hell did you do?" Alex needed to know but when Piper turned around she knew she still wasn't going to get an answer.

"It's still not important right now, I'll explain some other time, or you'll find out on your own, either way," Piper folded her arms across her chest and appeared to be thinking. Like she was trying to solve a problem or a puzzle and the pieces were just not going together.

"Why are you making that face?" Alex asked inquisitively, almost all the anger gone from her voice.

"I'm trying to decide," Piper answered vaguely.

"Decide what, Pipes-er?" She corrected quickly.

Piper didn't react though. "I'm trying to decide how to deal with this, I spoke without thinking before, I'm not doing that again. If I'm going to threaten you, I'm going to do it properly," Piper continued but someone else stepped closer to them.

"Chapman!" It was Tricia and she looked upset.

Piper looked between the young blonde and Alex. "Trish, can this wait, I'm a little busy,"

Alex shook her head, she needed a minute to figure out what else she wanted to say to Piper and clearly the younger girl needed her 'big sister'. "It's fine, deal with it,"

Piper nodded and looked back down at Tricia. Her eyes were red, Piper assumed she must have been crying. "What's the matter?" Piper asked. "And don't you lie to me," Alex glanced at Piper, but she didn't notice.

"My girl Mercy, she's getting out soon, they gave her a date today, she just told me," The young blonde said.

"But that's great news," Piper figured out the problem. She wrapped her arms around the younger girl and pulled her into an embrace, so the younger girl's head was resting on her shoulder. "It's gonna be alright, did you and her talk about what you're gonna do?"

"Not really, didn't have a chance, but I've heard we could make it like a long distance relationship, something like that could work right?" Tricia asked, sounding hopeful.

Piper caught Alex's gaze which was slightly curious about what Piper's answer would be.

For a second Piper was lost for words, but she quickly recovered.

She carefully pushed the girl off of her so she could look her in the eyes as she spoke. "Look, relationships are hard even when you're right with the other person. Long distance is even harder, but I don't know if there is anything harder than long distance with someone who's free when you're stuck in a place like this," Piper said thoughtfully.

"The world will change for her when she gets out, and you won't be able to understand that because you'll still be here. Just like she won't be able to understand your world in here, because things will go on in here that people on the outside will never be able to understand unless they lived through it with you," Piper explained and Tricia nodded.

"The minute she gets out, you two will cease to have anything in common, except for the distant memory of being in this fucked up place with people you barely know, except it won't be so distant for you cause you'll still be here," Piper continued. "Let me ask you something,"

"Sure,"

"Do you really love her?" Piper asked and that really got Alex's attention. The younger blonde looked taken aback for a second.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do," Tricia answered hastily.

Piper shook her head. "No, try again with less attitude. Tricia, do you actually love her?" Piper asked intently.

"Yes, I love her," Tricia answered quietly, avoiding eye contact with the older blonde.

Piper put her hand lightly under the girl's chin and tilted her head up. "If that's true, and if she loves you like I'm sure she does, you can make it work. The distance, the changes, the effort, none of it will matter," Piper said softly.

Convinced Tricia would hold her gaze, she moved her hand to her shoulder instead. "If you can both get to the point of realizing that all that matters is the both of you and what you feel for each other, instead of what's happening and changing around you, you can do it," Tricia nodded before hugging Piper tightly.

"Thank you Chapman," The young blonde spoke quietly.

"No problem kiddo," Piper said gently.

"Go find her and work things out, yeah?" Piper said gently to the girl who was still holding onto her.

Tricia let go of her. "Thank you, sis," Tricia said before hurrying away, looking a lot calmer than she had moments prior.

Piper watched the younger blonde walk away.

"Sis huh?" Alex asked from behind her.

Piper turned around again. "Yeah, she's the youngest, then I think Morello and Nicky are pretty close to the same age, and Boo, well I'm sure she's older than me, but I've been here longer than any of them, so that makes me 'big sister'," Piper explained. "Norma is like an aunt I guess and Gina is more like a cousin than a sister," Piper said thoughtfully.

"Wow you really have this worked out, so tell me, where do I fit into your calculations?" The way she asked was like a joke, but she seriously wanted to know where she stood with the blonde.

"I'm not sure yet," Piper really wasn't sure and she could tell that wasn't the answer Alex was looking for when the raven-haired woman changed the subject quickly.

"That was some good advice though, too bad you don't take it as well as you dish it out," Alex said from behind her.

"I've realized a few things over the years," Piper answered. "And most of it is probably true anyway,"

"So that wasn't from personal experience, Pipes?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She didn't bother to correct herself.

"Well my experience wasn't exactly the same, even though it was pretty damn close," Piper said, her voice even as she maintained her eye contact with Alex.

"Close, but our story didn't have that happy ending you spoke of to your 'little sis'," Alex countered.

"I might not be able to speak for you, but my book, my story, isn't over yet, so I can't say I quite know what you mean," Piper replied evasively.


	8. Chapter 8

"I might not be able to speak for you, but my book, my story, isn't over yet, so I can't say I quite know what you mean," Piper replied evasively.

"So back to my question then, if the book isn't over, where do we stand? Friends? Enemies? Other?" Alex smirked, but she did need to know even though she wasn't sure what she wanted Piper to say.

"Alex, you and I both know we were never friends, and as enemies we'd destroy each other like I said," Piper said and Alex knew she was right. "Despite what you might think, I don't hate you, I've never hated you. I blame you sure, I wish we hadn't met, but we did, and that won't change, so no I don't hate you," Piper almost sounded like she was trying to convince herself of that, but she did mean it.

"Well, that's great, that makes one of us," Alex retorted. She really didn't know if she should try to let go of the past or hold onto it because it still hurt.

"Okay then that's taken care of, there's nothing else to say, Alex. I'll see you around, but don't expect anything more than that from me," Piper turned her back on her just like that. She thought back to her conversation with Nicky and her thoughts then. She was going to try just being neutral, but she knew she couldn't promise herself that she could remain that way if Alex did anything to piss her off.

Alex found she missed Piper's crystal blue eyes already and it had only been a moment. She really didn't want it to be like this, she wanted Piper to at least tolerate her, dare she even think it, now that they were both in here maybe they could fix things, granted it would take a lot of effort and time, but it wouldn't happen at all if she let Piper walk away from her right now. "That's it? You're just going to walk away?!" Alex practically shouted hoping the blonde would turn around to answer her.

Piper stopped and looked back at her. "What do you want me to say? What else is there for me to say?" Piper questioned, her tone exasperated. "Do you want me to apologize for leaving? Do you want me to say we're good? Because that isn't my call, Alex, it's yours. I've come to terms with my choices ten years ago, have you?"

There was a pause. "I don't know," Alex answered truthfully.

Piper sighed and closed her eyes. "That is the base of the problem here, because it's not up to me where we stand, that's on you," Piper looked at her again. "If you can't decide what you feel about the past, I'm not going to even bother you with the present, and I can't answer your question for you,"

"Why not? You can't pin all this on me," Alex said defensively. "How can you possibly be fine with everything?! You don't seem content with it,"

Piper took a step toward her. "Don't I?" She asked seriously. "Alex, listen because I need you to understand this. Walking away and losing you that day was, at that point in my life, the worst thing that ever happened to me," Piper said as she looked back out the window, avoiding Alex's eyes. It was getting dark out, and the glow of the prison lights didn't stretch very far into the night.

"For a while, it was the worst, until it wasn't anymore. It wasn't going to prison, it was things that happened once I got here that made me understand that losing you, as awful as it was, wasn't as bad as it could get," Piper continued.

"Anyways, things happened here as they do and I came to the conclusion that I didn't need you to survive, obviously I mean, look at me. But I also realized I probably wouldn't see you again and that I didn't need to hold onto anything I ever felt for you, the anger, the devastation, the pain, even whatever was good, none of it," She paused. "So I let that go. With all of the time I spent in here and with all of the different people, I came to believe that things happened the way they did and no matter what, there's nothing I can do to change that,"

"So, what's your point?" Alex watched her as she turned around to face her again.

"My point is, that I've reflected on what happened and I have moved on from it, no one can hurt me like that anymore, people only get as close as I want them to," Piper stated. "But when I heard you arrived, I didn't know what to think. I was scared that I might lose the control I've worked so hard to achieve, but I didn't, and that led me to a thought," She paused again.

"I want things to be different," Piper took a step back away from her, but didn't give Alex a chance to answer before she continued again.

"Now, it doesn't seem like you've really dealt with everything, even after ten years, you're still fighting and holding on to everything, which is fine, by all means think whatever you want of me and please do, go ahead and hate me if you really want to...I won't be your friend or your enemy," Piper took another step away from her.

"...but if you choose that, I also won't fight with you, I won't argue with you, hell I might even laugh at something you say. I can do that and I know I can make myself live with it because I've been doing it for years, and I won't get attached, but I don't know if you can," Piper took a breath and looked at her expectantly. "I can turn off my emotions like that," she snapped her fingers. "So I won't be the one who is going to have a problem, that will be you if you don't make the best decision for yourself," She finished.

"That long ass explanation, is why it's not my decision, so you better get your shit together and have an answer to your own question before you decide to ask me where we stand again,"

Alex didn't answer right away, but she closed the gap between them and Piper just watched her carefully. "What happened to you?" Alex put a hand on Piper's cheek, raising her gaze to meet her own.

Piper didn't resist, because she had to admit Alex's touch felt good. "Too many things that you'll never be able to understand," Piper said quietly.

Alex went to brush the blonde hair off of Piper's face, but was surprised by Piper's strong grip on her wrist stopping her. "Don't," Piper said firmly as she let go of Alex and stepped away from her quickly.

"Why, what's wrong?" Alex was confused by Piper's reaction.

"That's another discussion no doubt we'll have at some point no matter what happens, but not right now," Piper said knowingly.

That made Alex really curious. Just one more peculiar thing about this new version of Piper.

"When you figure yourself out, let me know,"

"Wow, I don't know if I can get over how different you are from the Piper I knew," Alex said thoughtfully after a moment.

"Well that Piper was a real narcissistic bitch if you ask me," Piper shrugged.

"That's true," Alex allowed.

Piper looked outside again, it was really dark out there now. "Shit, we have to go, or we'll miss count and I don't need to go to the SHU again, not for that," Piper turned to walk away before noticing Alex hadn't followed her. "Come on, you don't need a shot either,"

Alex nodded and followed her down the halls until they got to Alex's temporary room.

"Piper!" Alex called out making the blonde stop in her tracks and turn around to look at her questioningly. "Goodnight,"

Piper smiled and Alex loved that even after all this time her smile was still the same. "Goodnight, Alex," Piper said before striding off around the corner and back to her cube.

Alex stepped back into her room only to see Nicky shaking her head at her with a grin on her face. "So fuckin weird,"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I think I've heard that one before,"

The guards came and counted them a few times before they were finally able to go to bed, not that Alex could sleep though.

Her thoughts kept her awake for a good amount of time. Some of them about how she ended up there, others recalled the events of the day, and at some point she found herself replaying her various conversations with Piper.

Most of her thoughts surrounded the blonde, and they were generally good. There were a few things she needed to think about for sure. It was going to be another long night.


	9. Chapter 9

That conversation was the last time they had talked in a little over a week. Piper had been trying to ignore her as much as she could. The few words uttered to each other was just small talk in conversations over meals. Other than that, Piper just watched her, but kept her distance. Alex had been assigned to laundry duty so Piper heard plenty about her from Doggett. At every opportunity, Doggett would complain and gripe about how terrible Alex was. Clearly jealous that Piper had given her any attention upon her initial arrival to the prison. Nichols also would bring her up from time to time while they worked in electrical. All of that chatter was good enough for her to keep tabs on her, but it was almost too much. Piper snapped at Doggett on a number of occasions for incessantly yammering on about how Alex did this or she didn't do that. She wanted to not hear Alex's name in every other sentence, but maybe that was too much to ask.

"You should have heard her yesterday, talking back to me like I'm a dumb piece of shit! She's new, what the fuck does she know!?" Doggett yelped, and Piper splashed water on her face. Her head was pounding, but she still had work in a few minutes and she couldn't even pay attention to the short brunette. "Are you even listening?"

Piper sighed looking at her tired eyes in the mirror. She hadn't been sleeping well. "No, seriously, just shut up," She turned quickly to face Doggett. "Shut up about Alex! I don't want to hear about her anymore. Say or do whatever to her while you're working, but when you're done leave it alone. I don't want to hear it anymore!" The shorter woman was taken aback.

"Well sorry Chapman, I thought it'd be interesting to you," Doggett said dejectedly from behind her as they walked down the hall.

"It isn't. Not anymore. Just find a way to deal with her," Piper ordered harshly over her shoulder.

"I can do whatever I want to her?" Doggett asked thoughtfully.

Piper couldn't bring herself to care at the moment, her head hurt too much. Alex could handle herself surely, especially, Doggett was not really someone to be too worried about. "Whatever, don't hurt her, I don't want to see blood, but find a way to coexist,"

"Aye aye," Piper barely heard over the pounding in her head as she walked away towards electrical.

She stood by Nicky while they waited for Luschek to show up to let them in. He was always late. "Please Nicky, I am not in the mood to hear about tall, dark, with glasses. Not a word about her,"

Nicky shrugged. "Okay, whatever you say Chaps, any particular reason why?"

"Just talk to me about anything else, I don't care what," Piper said exasperated.

"You don't look so good. You feelin' alright?"

Piper didn't respond before Luschek sauntered up lazily shoving the door open for them. "In you go,"

"'Bout time you got here," Nicky mumbled as she walked past him.

"Oh shut your trap Nichols, you would rather I be late cause you don't want to work," He retorted, turning his attention to Piper as she quietly walked past him without so much as a passing glance. "What's wrong with you Chapman, got nothing to say?"

"Not today," She muttered, coming to stand by her work area.

He looked at her curiously then at Nichols who just shrugged. He didn't pay them any more attention though as he sat down throwing his feet on his desk. He pulled out a magazine and just let them do whatever.

Piper just made herself look busy but she was really not doing anything. That is how most of the day went by until Luschek got a call over the radio saying that they needed electrical help in the laundry room. Not an uncommon call, there was always something breaking. "Chapman, Nichols, go fix it,"

"Oh, you're not going to join us?" Piper asked incredulously.

"I don't have time for that, besides you've done it enough times, just don't lose the tools or else,"

With that Piper and Nicky headed towards the laundry room. She didn't want to see Alex, but not much she could do to avoid it at this point.

"Can you handle it Nik?" Piper asked when they got there.

"Sure thing," Nicky said chipperly as she walked around the corner leaving Piper to sit against the wall by the door.

Piper closed her eyes for a second, but just as quickly opened them again when Nicky nudged her. "Hey, aren't there supposed to be people working right about now? There's no one here,"

Standing again Piper was perplexed. "No guards, nothing?"

"Nope," Nicky shrugged. "I guess it has been a little while, maybe they decided they couldn't work til we fixed the issue,"

"Check all the machines," Piper ordered while she stood back and watched as Nicky proceeded to open each machine and then turn it on to show it worked. She started with the washers then moved on to the dryers.

"Jesus Christ," Piper heard Nicky curse not quite under her breath. "Uh, Chaps, You better look at this," Nicky said over her shoulder when she got to the last one.

"What?" From a distance she could see it was Alex stuck in there this time. "Fuck,"

At that moment Doggett strolled back into the room, apparently not expecting to see Piper or Nicky there.

"Doggett! What the fuck?!" Piper growled. "I explicitly told you not to lock people in that dryer after the first time!"

"Hey, look I'm sorry, it was an accident, I was just showing her how to work it," Doggett answered innocently.

"Bullshit, I know you don't like Vause, but I told you the last time not to use this fucking dryer! At the very least you could have done that!" Piper yelled.

"You said I had to figure out how to coexist with her!"

Piper sighed. "I know what I said, but this is not what I meant! Now get the fuck out of here, pray I don't see your face for the rest of the day," The shorter woman ran off and Nicky just looked at Piper questioningly.

"That's it? You're just going to let her get away with this?" Nicky complained.

"What do you want me to do?! Huh Nick? I have to take care of this mess, I'll deal with her later. Why don't you watch the door,"

Nicky just shook her head and walked away.


	10. Chapter 10

Half an hour before…

"Climb in there" Doggett commanded and Alex just looked at her like she was crazy.

"Excuse me? I'm not getting in the fucking dryer. You do it, your ass is smaller," Alex countered.

"There is a panel of wires at the back, I'll hold a flashlight for you and I'll direct you to which wires to mess with," Doggett continued gesturing to the open dryer.

"No way," Alex stepped back.

"You need to learn how to fix it, we don't need to be callin electrical everytime one of the fuckin things stops workin, and I ain't always gonna be in here so you gots to learn!" Doggett explained. "Now get in!"

Alex rolled her eyes and did as she was told. She fucking hated this. She managed to fit her whole self in the dryer, but when she turned to ask what she had to do, the door was slammed in her face. Of course she tried to kick it open with her feet, but it was locked. She glared at the woman on the other side of the glass.

"What the fuck?! Let me out of her!" Alex yelled, but immediately regretted it because the sound echoed very loudly in the small space.

"I want you away from Chapman and I, so now here we are," The shorter woman grinned at her like a Cheshire cat. "Oops, I think I accidentally knocked off this control panel thingy," She held up a couple of wires. "I guess I have to go call electrical, they'll be here soon," then she walked away, leaving Alex alone, and stuck in this fucking dryer.

How the fuck was she so stupid. She was now alone with her thoughts and everything was catching up to her. It'd been a week and she'd been able to keep it together so far, but this...well this might just be the breaking point for her. How could she have been stupid enough to listen to her? How could she have been stupid enough to get caught in the first place? How could she have been unlucky enough to be caught and brought to the same prison with Piper?

She didn't know how long it had been, five or ten minutes or more, before she heard footsteps. She banged her fits on the door to try to get whoever was out there's attention, but the echo was very loud inside the small space so she quickly stopped.

"Jesus Christ" someone exclaimed, and through the glass their voice was muffled, not that she'd been there long enough to identify anyone by their voice yet.

"What?...Fuck," She heard a second voice. "Doggett! What the fuck?! I told you not to lock people in that dryer after the first time!" She heard the second person continue, but Alex could only see the woman's feet, so she stopped trying to see them and focused more on listening to them.

"Hey, look I'm sorry, it was an accident, I was just showing her how to work it," She assumed it was Doggett who answered.

"Bullshit, I know you don't like Vause, but I told you the last time not to use this fucking dryer! At the very least you could have done that!" The second woman yelled.

"You said I had to figure out how to coexist with her!"

"I know what I said but this is not what I meant! Now get the fuck out of here, I'll take care of it,"

It sounded like someone left and there was a moment of silence before the first woman spoke again.

"That's it? You're just going to let her get away with this?" She complained.

"What do you want me to do?! Huh Nick? I have to take care of this mess, I'll deal with her later. Why don't you watch the door," So woman two was Piper then, and the first one was Nicky.

She heard who she assumed was Nicky walk away.

"Oh Alex," Piper shook her head, crouching down to peer through the glass of the dryer door. "Can you breathe in there?" The blonde asked, looking at her intently.

"Yeah" Alex answered shortly. Though she felt like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. The reality of her situation of being in prison was finally catching up with her and this just sent her over the edge. She felt like she might faint or something.

"Hey, look at me," Piper said and only then did she really realize that she was breathing heavily and her eyes were shut.

Alex opened her eyes and glanced at Piper.

"Deep breaths, I'll have you out in no time," Piper assured her. So much for keeping a nice distance between them.

Alex nodded. "I'll be okay," She said quietly.

"Good, because one of the last people she stuck in here had asthma or some shit, and it really tested my fucking skills. She almost didn't make it. I'll be right back," Piper said as she stood to get her tools she had left on the floor.

"Wait where are you going?! Don't you fucking leave me!" Alex shouted, but she winced at the ringing in her ears.

Piper came back a moment later, screwdriver in hand. She had done this enough times that she could do this efficiently in less than ten minutes, but it looked like Doggett had done some extra damage to the control panel so it could take longer. "Don't worry, I said I wouldn't leave you in here," Piper said as she set to work on all of the bolts on the top and sides of the dryer that were holding the frame together.

"I wasn't worried," Alex huffed.

Piper nodded, but she was still focusing on the bolts. "Of course not,"

They lapsed into silence. "So this has happened before?" Alex ventured.

"A few times, but shit, she just really fucking hates you," Piper said as she stood again to inspect the controls that had been ripped out. "When she gets jealous..," She trailed off.

"So let me guess, you're the knight in shining armor that comes to save the day every time?" Alex asked, trying to get a glimpse of Piper's face.

Piper chuckled, stopped what she was doing, and crouched down so she was eye level with Alex again. "That would make Doggett the dragon, which is very suiting for her, but then you would be the sweet princess that's stuck in the tower and that would be an insult to princesses everywhere, so I don't think so," Piper laughed as she stood up again.

"Fuck you," Alex said although she chuckled at Piper's response feeling less on the edge of oblivion than she was before.

"Only in your dreams, Vause" Piper countered, smirking as she continued her work. "I basically run electrical. I know the ins and outs of the entire system, so naturally when there's a problem, like this, they call me because I've done it so many times, besides not many people are here long enough to learn how to do this shit properly -Fuck!" Piper yanked her hand back from the wires she was tugging on.

"You okay?" Alex glanced up at her, but Piper just waved her off.

"Yeah, I hate it when she uses this fucking dryer because the wires have been pulled out, cut, and twisted back together so sloppily that it makes fixing it a fucking nightmare. Don't go anywhere," Piper said as she turned away to look through her tools for a pliers.

"I'll try not to," Alex muttered in response to Piper's comment.

Piper quickly found what she was looking for and faced the dryer again. After a few more bolts were unscrewed and some wires were cut, the lock on the door disengaged and Piper gracefully pulled the entire thing off its hinges.

"There you go," Piper said as she offered Alex a hand to help her out of the dryer.

"Thanks," Alex said, taking the offered hand and pulling herself out and onto the floor.

"Not a problem," Piper said as she started gathering the pieces to reassemble the dryer again.

"Chapman, what's going on in here?!" It was C.O. Luschek. Nicky was right behind him and she gave an apologetic expression.

Piper just faced him casually. "Nice to see you decided to get off your ass today, you come to watch me put this dryer back together?" Piper asked nonchalantly.

"Why'd you take it apart?" He asked before he could guess. "No wait, don't tell me, she fell for Doggett's messed up sense of humor,"

Piper shook her head. "No, she's smarter than that, thank god," Piper lied easily. "The lock was jammed and the controls weren't working, I had to take the whole fucking thing apart, if that's a problem for you, I can..." before she could even finish Luscheck nodded and walked away.

"just fix the damn thing," He yelled over his shoulder and Piper smirked.

"I fucking love my job," Piper stated as she put the dryer back together. "Are you okay?" She asked after a moment when she noticed Alex being particularly quiet.

"I don't know Piper," Alex answered lowly. "I still can't believe I'm here, in this place, with you, and everything, I can't - I can't - it doesn't seem real but it is," Piper wasn't facing her but it sounded like she was on the verge of crying. "I feel like I'm losing my mind,"

Piper finished with the last bolts and turned back to face the tall brunette on "It gets easier. Things will become normal. You'll start a routine and you'll just work down the days till the end of your sentence," Piper said knowingly. She took one of Alex's hands making the brunette cast her gaze up at her. "If you are anything like the Alex I used to know, then you are more than strong enough to get through this. I know it," Piper smiled and gave Alex's hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it so she could finish packing up her tools.

"Come on now, you're done in here today," Piper said over her shoulder as she started walking towards the door.

Piper stopped at the sound of Alex's voice. "Thank you,"

Piper glanced over her shoulder. "Don't mention it, I only did my job," She smirked. "Now come on, I know a place we can sit and chat for a while, you look like you need it,"


	11. Chapter 11

They walked down the hall, Piper had a loose grip on Alex's arm, and the taller woman let herself be led. Everything was catching up with her finally. Everything had happened so quickly she had been able to resist having an emotional breakdown, but after a week, it was finally setting in. She would be here for a long long time, and it wasn't going to be easy. How had she let herself end up here? She was so good at her job, how had this happened? She was always so careful. And Piper, that was a whole separate line of stress. She still wasn't used to this person, but she was still so familiar that it was almost excruciating that she was this close to her and they hadn't so much as hugged. Not that she should want that? Should she? She had to admit, the new tats and hair style were pretty hot, and they went right with her new personality. Her confidence was also a turn on. Wait a second, what was she even thinking right now. They fought, they broke up, they couldn't be together again, they were bad for each other. But she kind of wanted her. Wanted to know what it would be like to kiss her after all these years, wanted to know what it would be like to have her hands on her again. That was one thing that always brought her confidence back, was sex with Piper. Piper had never been the dominant one, so it was always like a little confidence boost knowing what she could do to the blonde. She shook herself out of her thoughts, but now that she had thought it, she was curious what it would be like. She was keenly aware of the warmth and strength of Piper's hand on her arm. It was nice.

Piper led them to the chapel. It was quiet and empty, the perfect place to sit and talk or do other things, as that was the most secluded place in the entire prison, barring a bathroom stall.

Piper sat down leaning against the piano and Alex sat next to her. "So, how are you?"

Alex didn't know how to answer. She felt like shit, she was just locked in a fucking dryer for christs sake, and with everything else just weighing down on her she just broke. Uncharacteristically of her, from what Piper recalled, Alex just started crying. Piper was a little uncomfortable, not knowing how best to comfort her, she opened her arms to her. Alex let herself lean over, feeling Piper's strong arms wrap tightly, safely around her.

"You're gonna be okay," Piper whispered, stroking the back of Alex's head, trying to be comforting but not cross any lines. She had been trying to keep Alex at arms length and thus far it had worked. She kept herself busy to keep her mind off the brunette. Being this close to her though was undermining her resolve. She did want Alex. Well, her brain didn't but her body was begging to touch Alex more than just this hug. It was an electric feeling and she wanted to give into it, but she couldn't, she wouldn't. Things were not good between them. But what if it was just sex, and nothing else, she thought to herself. But it couldn't really be that though, everything with them had always been complicated, and likely that aspect hadn't changed. "Shh, it's alright, just let it out," Piper said soothingly as Alex quietly whimpered some more.

After a few more moments sitting like that, Alex finally sat up, allowing Piper to brush some of the remaining tears off her face. "I just can't believe this is happening!"

Piper just nodded. "You and me both,"

Alex just looked at her, teary eyed. "How did I get here?" She muttered more to herself than to Piper, but she saw the blonde shift slightly at her question.

"I would guess it had something to do with your importing business, but I don't want to be presumptuous," Piper answered. "How much time did you get after subtracting for each name you gave them?" Her voice was steady, curious even and it held none of the incredulity that Alex would have expected.

It took her a moment to answer. "Eight fucking years," Alex choked out and she had to wipe her eyes again.

Alex felt Piper's hand on her shoulder again. "Well, now that's eight years we get to spend together thanks to you," Piper said, her voice soft.

Alex shuddered at the thought that she practically single-handedly sentenced Piper to an extra year in this hell hole with her. "Fuck Piper I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were in prison already-" Alex let herself cry some more and pulled her legs into her chest.

"Would that have honestly stopped you? It might have made you think first, but certainly, the same thing that made you do it would have made you do it no matter what. It's okay, you still have every right to hate me," Piper said calmly as she wrapped her arm around Alex's shoulder and pulled her back into an embrace. "Come here, lay down,"

Alex couldn't object so she laid down and rested her head on Piper's thigh. "I feel so weak, Piper, I wasn't strong enough to leave you out if this,"

"Shh, no, you're one of the strongest people I know," Piper said as she mindlessly brushed locks of raven hair out of Alex's face. "Everyone has their moments, Alex, you can't be blamed for that,"

Piper caressed the side of Alex's face and the locks of raven hair that were spread over her leg.

Alex shivered when Piper's cold hands brushed against her skin. Piper froze. "Your hands are so cold," Alex muttered. "Don't stop," She added barely above a breath of a whisper, but Piper heard her.

Piper shrugged, and kept her hands tracing gently over Alex's skin.

Alex was being soothed by Piper's soft touch and even though it was strange for her to be the one in need of comfort, she accepted it anyways because without it she didn't know if she could survive this place.

"Alex," Piper murmured as she wiped a stray tear off of the other woman's face. "Shh,"

"How did I let myself get here?" Alex mumbled again, blinking her eyes open only to find herself looking into Piper's bright blue ones. "How was I that fucking stupid?!" She continued, her voice thick and rough.

Piper sighed and continued her soft caresses. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault, just a slip that could have happened to anyone importing drugs across international boarders," Piper smiled softly down at her, but Alex just chuckled humorlessly.

"Right, I just never thought it would end, you know?" Alex rolled over so the back of her head was facing the blonde. "I had a life, I had a job that I loved and I was really fucking good at it, and now what?! I have nothing. I started with nothing and no matter what I do that's how I always end up, with nothing," She continued almost too quietly for Piper to hear.

Alex felt the blonde lean down, and she could feel her hot breath on her cheek. "That's not true Alex," The blonde placed a gentle kiss on her temple before Alex felt her sit up again. "Your life doesn't end because you're in here. You of all people won't be here forever. You can still have a life. You can still have whatever you want. A family, a house, a job, or not, you could have a business or rejoin the old one where you had whatever you wanted, whoever you wanted, in a new place every week, traveling the world again. You may not be who you are now by the end of your sentence, but you will be you, with everything that that means," Piper said reassuringly.

Alex turned her head back to look at her. "You didn't seriously tell me to rejoin the cartel, did you?" She arched an eyebrow skeptically.

Piper just shrugged and leaned back against the instrument again, her gaze fixed on the ceiling and Alex kept her eyes on her. "If that's what you really want, I remember how much you loved it," She grinned at the memories. "All someone had to do was mention the next shipment to you and a smile would cross your face in the most adorable way," Piper said as she continued to recall the fuzzy memories from before prison.

"The cartel was your life. It was your whole world. You were good at it. I remember how thrilled you were to show me all the new places around the world, every new stop was a another chance for you to impress me, and it worked because I still remember," Piper paused and Alex wasn't sure what to say. She didn't realize Piper had such fond memories. "You always seemed so happy with yourself, whenever I got to see you that was, but then again I guess that was a long time ago and things in the business changed since then I'm sure," Piper's voice was even but Alex could still hear the sadness in her tone.

Piper cleared her throat, she needed to get out of memory lane and back to the point. "That's not the point though, Alex, what I'm saying is that your life isn't over, you can still do whatever you want to do, with whomever you want to do it with, when you get out, you just have to be willing to wait for it,"

"Bullshit! Is that how you get through everyday? By telling yourself that your life will be better when you get out?" Alex asked incredulously.

Piper shook her head, flashing a small sarcastic smile. "No, it's not, because by now, this is my life. Eight years, and now thanks to you, eight left, I can't afford to bother myself with ideas of getting out,"

Nicky had told her when she first got there that Piper probably was there for eight years, but she wasn't sure. Hearing it from Piper made it more real. What the hell did she do? "Eight years?!"

Piper lowered her gaze back to her and her hands continued their soft caresses again. "I have been in here for eight years out of my ten year sentence,"

Alex furrowed her eyebrows and rolled back over so she could see Piper's eyes. "I thought you said you had seven left before the drug charge?"

Piper sighed. "There was an incident, well, a number of incidents, over the years so it was extended to the maximum sentence of fifteen,"

Alex brought a hand up to cup Piper's cheek and Piper did not stop her. "What did you do?" She asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You don't want to know, seriously, I know you think you do, but you don't," Piper answered, her eyes closed under Alex's touch.

Alex noticed Piper's eyes were closed so she carefully moved to brush the hair out of her face. She expected resistance, but when she found none she continued. It was dark in there, but the soft glow of the dim lights made up marginally for that.

Alex ran her hand over the side of Piper's face, stopping when she came into contact with rougher skin. The blonde had yet to open her eyes, but Alex could feel that Piper had a scar from her left temple that curved slightly and stopped at her upper cheek.

"Jesus Pipes, who did this to you!?" Alex asked harshly, but with concern.

Piper sighed and slowly opened her eyes. She took Alex's hand in her own. "Someone who got transferred out a long time ago,"

"How long ago?" She asked and Piper just chuckled humorlessly.

"Near the beginning of my sentence, I forget exactly when," Piper paused and Alex was still watching her intently. "When you've been down for as long as I have, things blend together, you forget what it's like to live and you take whatever scrap of happiness you can find for yourself whenever you get the chance," Piper cupped Alex's cheek pulling her face closer. She placed a soft chaste kiss on Alex's lips. Alex didn't resist. It was nice.

"Take whatever happiness you can get, hmm?" Alex asked, their faces still close together. Piper grinned and Alex pulled her back into another kiss, this time deeper and more passionate.

Piper let Alex have this kiss, but she had to keep herself under control. She felt Alex's hands toying with the hem of her shirt. Alex's fingers coming into contact with her bare skin made her heart race, but not in a good way. She tried to ignore the feeling for as long as she could, trying to keep enjoying the kiss and the feeling of Alex's lips on hers. As soon as Alex tried to mess with the band of her pants instead, she couldn't ignore her discomfort anymore. She felt trapped there between Alex and the piano. Squeezing her eyes shut, she did everything to keep kissing Alex, but the flashes of images in her mind made her stop. Darkness. Someone holding her down. Dark green menacing eyes. Searing pain.

She roughly pushed Alex away, backing up as much as she could. Rolling to be on her hands and knees, she stared at the floor, breathing heavy. A stray tear fell from her closed eyes.

"Pipes, what's wrong," Alex tried to put a hand on Piper's shoulder, but Piper just shook her head some more.

"Come here," Alex tried to bring the blonde back to her, but Piper shifted away.

"Don't touch me!" Piper growled. The blonde gathered herself and stood, leaning heavily on the piano. She could feel Alex's eyes on her. She took one more moment to herself, and a deep breath. She straightened her clothes out again. "Sorry you had to see that," She spoke calmly, her back to the brunette who stood behind her. "Things happen and they're not always easy to forget,"

Alex looked up at her. "You can talk to me about it if you want,"

Piper chuckled humorlessly and shook her head. How had she put herself in this situation? She wasn't usually like this. All of the other girls knew their place, fucking with them was never complicated, they kept their hands to themselves and gave their bodies to her, a lesson she had not taught Alex. "No, we kissed, but we aren't close,"

"What can I do?"

"Nothing. What's done is done and I have to live with it," Piper turned around again and took one of Alex's hands. "I hope you're feeling better. See you later,"

"Can I at least get a hug?" Alex asked stopping Piper from walking away.

Piper nodded and wrapped her arms around the taller woman who in turn wrapped her arms around the blonde's smaller, but muscular frame. "I'm glad you're here with me," Alex muttered and she could feel Piper smirk against her.

"So that's really why you named me, cause you were afraid you'd get lonely," Piper stated jokingly, diverting her thoughts away from the images on replay in her mind. "Well, I can say the company is somewhat better than before, and maybe the next eight years will be more enjoyable,"


	12. Chapter 12

Alex found herself trying to figure out exactly what had just happened. Piper had been so comforting, talking more sincerely than she had since Alex had arrived there, then they kissed. They kissed and Piper seemed fine. She analyzed every moment, every action she'd made, but she couldn't figure out what made Piper so uncomfortable that resulted in her being pushed away. What happened to her? Her mind was going to some pretty dark places, and hoped to god that it wasn't any of those reasons. Thinking over the brief time she'd been there, the only thing that stood out was the reaction of Nicky, Doggett, and Morello, when she had said jokingly that she fucked Piper behind the shed the other day. At the time, she was interested why they reacted that way but didn't press the issue. Maybe the two incidents were related and one of them could enlighten her.

She sat gazing out the window in the rec room. Piper had left her quickly saying she needed to help Red in the kitchen. It must've been a quick task or she was lying, since Alex was now watching the blonde sauntering down to the track with who looked like Doggett trying to keep up with her.

On the horizon, the clouds were dark and ominous, it was probably going to rain later that evening.

Alex just sat and watched her for a while, that was until she heard someone pull up a chair next to her. Glancing over she saw it was Nicky.

"Oh love, what a wonderful thing," Nicky sighed jokingly, following Alex's gaze down to Piper. "Good luck with that stretch, her walls are so high, no one gets through them,"

Alex rolled her eyes, keeping her gaze fixed out the window. "Love isn't something I would call it, we only kissed,"

"Oh you kissed, wow, not wasting time are you?" Nicky paused. "I'm going to take a stab at why you look like you got dragged through the mud. You kissed, then she flipped the fuck out?"

At this Alex turned her head. "How did you know?"

"Let me ask you this, did you touch her at all anywhere, like besides kissing her, in like this general area?" Nicky motioned from her mid thigh to the base of her neck.

Alex thought for a moment. "Barely, if at all,"

"Well, if you did, that'll do it," She replied ominously.

"What?" Alex eyed her curiously.

"Shit happens, I don't know, it was before my time. All I know is she has fucked a lot of girls, but she never lets anyone touch her, ever," Nicky spoke thoughtfully. "I should know, I tried to get a piece of that,"

Alex squinted her eyes glaring at her in disbelief. She didn't want to feel as jealous as she did. She had no right to be jealous, because of course, she herself had been with various people too since Piper.

"One time...heat of the moment type thing, but she wouldn't let me touch her at all, which was frustrating because I'm a giver not a taker. Must say she's got some talented hands though," Nicky smirked at the memory. "Warning though if you're thinking about it, it's a power thing to her, not a pleasure thing," Nicky explained.

"A power thing?"

"Yeah, image and control are everything to her. She does everything to hide how she feels, so forget about seeing her cry or anything like that. What I mean is so if you made her feel vulnerable for even a second, she's going to do something that makes her feel powerful or in control again, usually that means sex, so she'll probably be off with one of her girls, or maybe she'll run it out, never can tell,"

"Why?" She wasn't dumb, it kind of made sense, it was just so jarring to hear Nicky talk about Piper like this.

"As a violent offender, she tries to stay away from public beatings or shiving people, ya know, typical displays of power"

"Christ, like how violent?"

"I can't tell ya remember, Chaps'll have my head,"

"Fine," Alex grumbled. "So you're not curious what happened to her to make her untouchable?"

"Of course, and I've asked Red many times what made Chapman the way she is now and she has never said a word,"

"Red knows?"

"Oh yeah, Red and her are tight, like they've been through some real shit together, and I'm pretty sure Red is the only one still here that was here at the time of whatever incident. I always just assumed she was gang raped or cut or something like that," Nicky shrugged.

Alex didn't even have words. It was one thing to think about those things but to hear them from someone who knew more than her made her feel sick.

"That's why we were so surprised when you made that comment the other day, because everyone knows she hasn't let any of her girls touch her ever," Nicky explained.

Alex thought about all of this for a moment, trying to recall every detail of her interaction with the blonde. "What about the scar on her face, was that the same time?"

Nicky turned to look out the window when she heard small splatters of water against the glass. It was barely drizzling outside. She watched Piper stop running, and wave off Doggett as she approached a small group of girls walking toward the building. Piper pulled one of them to the side, slinging her arm around her waist. So she didn't run it off, Nicky thought to herself while watching the blonde.

"Again, before my time, now how 'bout we just go to dinner and forget we talked about any of this, yeah?" Nicky pulled Alex to her feet and dragged her off to the cafeteria, not wanting to cause any conflict by having Alex run into Piper and whichever of her girls she was with.

"Was she in a good mood when she left or was she pissed?" Nicky asked as they walked down the halls.

"Uh, not sure, she seemed pissed then she hugged me but then she left so quick, I couldn't tell," Alex thought back to that moment of embrace, it had been nice to have that contact with her.

"Hmm, give her some space then, and if I were you I wouldn't be surprised to see her making some other girl's toes curl later," Nicky shrugged.

Alex didn't even want to imagine.

They walked into the kitchen, grabbed their food and sat with the usual people. Doggett joined them after a few minutes, sitting next to Nicky and across from Alex, glaring daggers at her the whole time. Alex wasn't listening to the conversation. They mostly were talking about the party that was supposedly happening later that evening for Mercy. Tricia showed up too for a little while but left quickly. Alex watched her as she left, noting her interaction with Mendez who had been standing by the door to the cafeteria. They both left together after a short conversation. She wondered what was up with that, but she didn't ask anyone. While she was interested, she didn't want to be involved, and more of her focus was consumed with Piper. She was still tuning everyone out until Dogget started flicking peas at her.

"What's your problem?" She growled.

Doggett shrugged. "You,"

"Well, can you get over it and leave me alone?"

"Yeah, you little gremlin, Chaps is still pissed with you, if you think this is going to make it better, you're sorely mistaken," Nicky said just as Piper walked in. "Oh look, better scram,"

"Whatever," The short brunette muttered.

Alex glanced at Piper who walked in with another woman. She looked this woman up and down. She was about the same height as Piper, maybe a little younger, fit, and had medium length brown hair. Whoever she was, Alex recognized she was being flirty with her, just based on her body language, and the way Piper was laughing, she could tell she was into it. Piper glanced over at her at one point, a small smirk gracing her features. The look only lasted a moment until Piper was back to focusing on the other girl. Alex balled her hands into tight fists before relaxing them again. She knew she had no right to be jealous of anything, but she was anyway.

"Easy stretch, ignore it, she is just doing what she does," Nicky spoke up, noticing the tension in Alex's expression. "Like I said, it's more for show than anything else. From what little you said, it sounds to me like your little moment together was more intimate than anything she does with anyone else, so consider yourself lucky," Alex knew Nicky was probably right, she knew Piper better after all, but that didn't ease the jealousy.

Alex was dying to know what happened to her, but Nicky didn't know, and there was no way for her to plausibly bring it up to Red.

She half expected Piper not to sit with them, but when she walked over to their table, Doggett immediately got up. Piper whispered something to the brunette then kissed her cheek before she sat down across from Alex. Alex followed the other woman with her eyes.

"I'd introduce you later, but I don't think she's your type," Piper said knowingly.

"Not necessary," Alex retorted.

"Suit yourself," Piper shrugged. "Feeling better?"

"Mhmm. Peachy,"

"Good," Piper said way too chipperly. "Coming to the party tonight?"

"Wasn't planning on it, I don't even think I've met this girl, who is it? Mercy?"

"Yeah, well, maybe you should come, could be good for you," Piper suggested before taking a bite of food.

"I'll consider it," Alex really didn't feel like subjecting herself to that. "How was your run?"

At this Nicky who had been focused on Morello turned. "Yeah, how'd it go, Chaps?" She clapped her friend on the back. "Probably pretty worn out now, eh? Still have enough energy to get your groove on later?"

"Ha ha, yes, I still have plenty of energy for whatever kind of dancing you have in mind," A devious glint shimmered in her blue eyes.

Nicky smirked, and looked to Alex. "You should definitely come tonight, it doesn't happen very often that Chapman shows off her moves,"

"Well, it's not like I have a hot date or anything better to do tonight," Alex grudgingly agreed, and she would have sworn Piper's grin widened just a tiny bit when she said that.

"She's joking. I don't dance and they are relentlessly trying to make me," Piper clarified, shooting Nicky a look, to which the other woman just smirked.

"We try, maybe it'll be different tonight, who knows," Nicky shrugged.

"I doubt it, don't get your hopes up,"

"Oh come on Chaps, you know when Tricia bats her pretty little eyes at you tonight, you won't be able to say no," Nicky said knowingly.

"We'll see about that,"


	13. Chapter 13

She didn't know what she was expecting out of that party but it turned out to be more than she expected in a prison. People were dancing and smiling and happy. There were a few small food items like a cake and some drinks. There were a few guards here and there, notably Mendez who stood watch by the door. She immediately saw Piper chatting it up with the brunette from earlier. Nicky on the other hand came to greet her, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her over to where Morello and a few other women were standing. Amongst them were Red and Norma.

"Glad you could make it, stretch," Nicky handed her a cup of punch.

"Thanks but probably I wouldn't have missed much," She glanced over her shoulder at Piper.

Nicky followed her gaze. "Eh, don't worry 'bout her, she's not the only one in here,"

"You. You think you want a shot at Chapman?" Red scoffed. "Ha, that'll be the day, pigs will be flying all around the day she takes you back," Alex was curious how much the older woman already knew about her. They hadn't had a formal introduction, but clearly Red knew more about Alex than Alex knew about her.

"Anyway, what I was trying to say is that there are plenty of other interesting people in here, whether you're looking for something or not," She put a hand on Alex's shoulder and turned them away from the other women so they could look at the rest of the people at the party. "I know a few people I could introduce you to, come on,"

"Thanks, but I don't…"

"Nonsense, come meet my good buddy Kozlov," Nicky said as they approached a few women talking near the opposite side of the room. "Hey Kozlov," Nicky got one of the women's attention and she grinned, waving them over. She was probably late twenties or early thirties, she had blonde hair tied back in a high ponytail.

"Kozlov, Vause, Vause, Kozlov," Nicky introduced them.

"I don't think we've met, you must be new," She smiled offering her hand. "Nice to meet you,"

"Likewise," Alex shook her hand.

They talked for a while, it was refreshing to talk to someone seemingly outside of Piper's reign. Nicky left them after only a few minutes, Morello was begging her to dance. Alex didn't mind though, Kozlov seemed nice, and she was funny. Alex found herself laughing probably more talking to her than she had the whole rest of the time she'd been there. They talked about a whole range of things, thankfully for Alex, she was keeping her mind off of prison, off of her sentence, and off of Piper. Not for long though.

"So have you gotten to meet Chapman yet?" Kozlov asked, bringing her back to the present.

"Oh uh, yeah, Chapman and I have a complicated history," Alex didn't know what else to say. "What about you, how well do you know her?"

"We have had some _interactions_ in the past. I don't have any beef with her, as with everyone she has her good sides, but she has her bad sides too, I've seen it all over the years," Kozlov explained, casting a glance over to the other blonde across the room who was not hiding that she was watching them. Alex was curious about what these interactions entailed, but she didn't inquire further as the other woman continued. "So how complicated are we talking?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," Alex said vaguely, making the other woman chuckle.

"What is the usual exactly? If you're so new, this complicated either happened super quick or came from well before she got here," The blonde surmised.

"A little bit of both, interestingly enough," Alex grinned.

Kozlov raised an eyebrow at her. "Now that is interesting, you are the only person to know what she was like before she got here, what was she like, I'm curious,"

Alex looked uneasy. "Why don't we forget about her? I want to hear about you," She deflected.

Kozlov obliged, dropping Piper as the subject and she went on to talk about herself.

Across the room, Nicky was sitting now with Morello when Tricia and Mercy walked over to them. "You guys gonna join us for a dance?"

"Nope, go ask Chapman," Nicky glanced over at the blonde who she could see was a little distracted, and not by the brunette she had her hands on. "On second thought, I'll go see about Chapman, shall I?" She gave a slight dramatic bow away from Morello who giggled, then made her way over to her very green looking friend.

Upon seeing her friend approach, Piper let the brunette go and sent her away. Disgruntledly the other woman obliged.

"And so the worm has turned," Nicky observed, following Piper's gaze over to Alex. "I've told you before that you play with fire too much and someday it's gonna burn you,"

"I don't think you have ever said that," Piper looked at her incredulously.

"Fine, maybe I haven't, but maybe it didn't matter before, clearly there is some feeling still there for Vause, and playing these games with these other girls isn't going to help you there,"

"Ugh. Of all the people, why did you introduce her to Kozlov? Everyone loves Kozlov, and she's exactly her type,"

"Why? Cause she's like a younger version of you before you turned into a cactus?" Nicky jabbed.

"I resent that, Nicky. I have my reasons for being this way. You don't understand,"

"Case and point," Nicky retorted. "I don't understand and I'm your best friend. You don't let anyone in, you play these stupid power games, for what? And now your jealous that she's talking to someone else because you didn't just spend some time with her and act like a person, that's on you,"

"Fuck you," Piper growled under her breath.

"Well, I have a proposition for you, everybody wins," Nicky said suggestively.

Piper eyed her curiously. "What?"

"Why don't you just go ask her to dance or something," Nicky suggested. "Just ask her to dance, that will be good for you and her, plus, Tricia really would love it,"

"Oh my god, so that's what this is about," Piper rolled her eyes. "You are just trying to make me dance, I hate you, and I hate that it's going to work,"

"Just go get her,"

Alex was laughing and enjoying her conversation with Kozlov, that was until they were interrupted by Piper herself.

" _Brigit_ ," Piper addressed the woman somewhat kindly.

" _Piper_ , what a nice surprise, to what do I owe the pleasure?" The younger blonde smirked.

Piper looked a little annoyed, but didn't answer, she just looked at Alex. "I was hoping I could steal you,"

"Oh and here I was hoping you came for me this time," Brigit feigned being hurt.

"It would never work between us, Brigit, I'm sorry," Piper joked, and the other woman still feigned sadness at Piper's comment. "Join me?" Piper addressed Alex now, offering her hand.

Alex sighed, sensing she didn't have a choice. She had enjoyed talking to Brigit, she was friendly and she was the first person to make her forget for a moment that she was in a prison. Her gaze met Brigit's, "Catch up with you later?" The other blonde asked, and Alex nodded.

" _Brigit_ ," Piper nodded in goodbye.

" _Piper_ ," Brigit replied cordially, as she watched them walk away.

Alex was intrigued by the short interaction, curious as to why they were on a first-name basis when it seemed that Piper strictly referred to most everyone as their last name and vice versa. There were several people Piper called by their first names, Tricia, Nicky, and Alex herself, but apart from her, they all called her by her last name. Until now, Kozlov was the only one to speak Piper's name.

"What do you want?" Alex got straight to it. She wasn't sure if she was happy or not. She had relatively enjoyed her time talking to Brigit, but yet now here she was walking away with Piper.

Piper shrugged. "Can't I just want to spend some time with you?"

"Right," Alex rolled her eyes. "And I'm supposed to believe that, while the rest of the time you were quite content to have your hands all over these other girls,"

"You were paying attention," Piper stated smugly. "Dare I say I sense some jealousy," Piper continued.

"Calling the kettle black now are we?" Alex retorted in kind. "You couldn't stand to see me have a good time with someone who wasn't you, could you, you were paying just as much attention to me as I was paying to you," She could have sworn she saw a tiny bit of redness appear on Piper's cheeks at being caught. "You were more jealous than I was, clearly,"

"And how do you figure that?"

"You acted on it, that's evidence enough," Alex looked into Piper's crystal blue eyes. "Admit it, some part of you still wants me," She said suggestively.

Piper was a little transfixed by her gaze. At that moment, Milkshake came on over the speakers, a song they both recognized from their past came on. "Remember the moves? Want to dance?" Piper asked quickly so she could avoid answering Alex's question.

"Maybe I do, it's been so long," Alex laughed as she followed Piper into the space with the other people who were dancing along happily.

"For you Trish," Piper pointed to the younger woman who was grinning now. Scanning the room, Piper's eyes landed on Red who just shook her head at her, then to Nicky who winked and gave her a thumbs-up, Piper responded to that with an eye roll. She wasn't sure about all this, but it kind of was their song, might as well dance to it.

Starting slowly, they tried to see if the other remembered the moves as the song played. Clearly, not all had been lost as they quickly were in sync recreating some poorly choreographed arm moves. They got a few whistles and chants from women who were standing on the peripheries. Nicky definitely had been one of the voices Piper heard.

It only took a few moments before they were dancing up on each other, enveloped by the memories of the feelings and the fast beat of the music. Alex was behind her at one point with her hands on her hips, their bodies pressed together as they moved in time to the beat. It was making Piper feel things and remember things she hadn't in a very long time. She relished in having Alex's body so close to her. She wouldn't dream of saying it, but she missed this.

Face to face now, their eyes met and their bodies moved rhythmically to the music. Alex could see the lust in Piper's eyes as the blonde transitioned to more seductive movements in front of her. Their gaze never broke for a second. Piper was tuning out the whoops and hollers from the crowd watching them, she was just letting herself enjoy this moment. She let her hands glide up and down just millimeters above Alex's body, and Alex had her hands on her hips again. Her heart was beating quickly, but not from stress this time. She smiled up at Alex who returned it. The song ended and they transitioned to just holding each other, swaying together to the next less energetic song.

Alex was not paying attention to anything but the blonde in front of her, that was until looking over Piper's shoulder she caught the gaze of Brigit, who was standing by the door. The other blonde just shook her head with a smirk before she turned to leave. While Alex was watching after her, she noticed Tricia leave the party slowly, as if she were trying not to be noticed. She didn't want to ruin the moment they were living in together, but something made her feel like she should tell Piper. "Pipes" She whispered into Piper's ear, as they continued to sway together.

"Mhmm?" was the blonde's only response. Alex was elated at how content Piper sounded at that moment with her.

"Should I be concerned that Tricia just left the party?"

"By herself?" Piper looked leaned back now and looked into her eyes.

"Yes," Alex responded and that made Piper stop moving altogether.

"Let's get out of here then," Alex nodded and took Piper's hand, following the blonde out of the crowded room. "That was fun," Piper remarked once they were in the hallway.

"It was," Alex agreed.

Piper led them back to the suburbs and looked around briefly but didn't see anyone. They stood for a moment, Alex was about to speak but Piper put up a hand, silencing her. There was a slight rustling coming from one of the cells further down. Piper stalked carefully across the floor coming to stop in the entrance of the cell. "What the hell are you doing?!" Piper snapped. Alex came to stand by her, looking down to see Tricia crouched down on the ground fumbling with something in her hands as she scrambled to stand up.

"Chapman it's not what it looks like, I swear," The young woman spoke frantically, real fear showing in her eyes. Alex looked back at Piper who had lost every ounce of the relaxed happy expression she had had just moments prior. She looked furious.

"Hand it over, I'm not gonna let you mess this up for Mercy," She held out her hand expectantly but the younger woman shook her head and backed against the wall. At her refusal, Piper was quick to approach her, grabbing the younger woman by the neck and forcing her head back against the wall. "Don't make it worse for yourself," Piper growled lowly. "I swear if you don't hand it over right now, you will be on your own. I cannot believe you!" She hissed angrily through gritted teeth. The younger woman had her eyes closed, but she lifted a hand to drop a small baggie of white powder into Piper's hand. Piper ripped her hand away from the other woman and pushed herself off the wall.

She took a moment to inspect the baggie before shoving it in the waistband of her pants. "Where'd you get it?!"

"Nowhere," Tricia was crying now.

"Nowhere my ass! Who gave it to you?!" Piper sneered. When Tricia failed to answer she slapped her roughly across the face, an action that took Alex by surprise.

"Mendez," Tricia whimpered, holding a hand to her cheek. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"

"Bullshit," Piper spat, and she slapped her again. "God, just wait till Red finds out about this," Piper had turned from her in an attempt to walk away but she was stopped by Tricia tugging on her arm.

"No! Please! She don't need to find out!"

"Get off me," Piper pushed the younger woman off her so rough that she fell to the floor. Piper made to walk away again, motioning to Alex to follow her. She stopped after a few feet though as if she forgot something. She turned on Tricia again, pinning her against the wall once more, holding her there with her full body weight, and the younger woman just looked up at her. "If I ever, _ever_ , find out you've been getting drugs from Mendez, _ever_ again, you are dead to me, and I will personally see to it that the rest of your time -"

"Chapman! Let her go!" One of the CO's charged into the room. In a split second, she let Tricia go, and also managed to get the little baggie of drugs into Alex's hand before the guard got to her.

"I didn't do anything, she's fine, we were just having a discussion," Piper said innocently, raising her hands.

The guard looked between the three of them, taking a particularly long time looking Tricia up and down. "Warning Chapman, don't make me write you any more shots! Now get out of here,"

Piper nodded. "Yes ma'am," She glared at Tricia once more before she motioned to Alex to follow her.

"Come on," Piper said over her shoulder to Alex, leading them into the bathrooms. She took the baggie back from Alex and quickly flushed it.

"Tough stance on drugs, I'm almost surprised," Alex remarked thoughtfully.

Piper just looked around to see if anyone else was there, then looked at her. "I have had a lot of bad experiences with drugs ruining things for myself and those around me,"

Alex raised an eyebrow at her.

"You, case and point," Piper followed up. "If it weren't for drugs, neither of us would be here,"

Alex scoffed. "You can't blame me for that, I only added one year, I didn't even know you were here!"

"Who said I was talking about that?" Piper spoke evenly. "You wanted to know how I got here in the first place,"

"Explain," Alex demanded.

"Things weren't great after Paris, obviously," Piper looked away from her. "So I got into some bad habits,"

"You used?" It was more a statement of realization than a question.

"Don't act surprised now. It was a _really_ shitty time. After a while, all the drugs and the alcohol, combined with the toxic shitty attitude my now ex-girlfriend had all the time, made for a bad situation. It's a wonder either of us survived," Piper closed her eyes at the memory. The carpet, the couch, the walls, her clothes, all stained crimson. There was so much blood, and very little of it was hers. "Mostly her though, I'm surprised she survived,"

Alex just looked at her in shock. She couldn't even imagine any scenario when all of this could have happened, especially back then. "What did you do?"

Piper skipped the detailed explanation though. "My family's fancy lawyer recommended I take a plea deal for second-degree assault and battery, and in exchange, they dropped the drug possession charges and somehow he talked them into minimum security instead of max down the hill," Piper spoke slowly, trying to recall the details. It had been so long.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Alex thought and she still couldn't wrap her mind around this. Making a split-second decision, she grabbed Piper pulling her into a hug. She half expected Piper to pull away, but she didn't.

"Not many people know all this, so keep it to yourself," Piper muttered.


	14. Chapter 14

As soon as she had opened up to Alex, she couldn't get all those memories out of her head. After leaving Alex's embrace and kissing her goodnight, she had returned to her bunk, waited for the count, and got in bed. The whole while the incident replayed over and over and over like it happened yesterday. Eventually, she managed to fall asleep but, even in her dreams, she could not escape.

_As she sat down at the bar, she didn't even need to think about what she wanted. She had a habit of ordering a margarita as her first drink every time she went out. It served as a painful reminder of the day she met Alex and subsequently ruined her life. She forced herself to remember what she had been through before she would then drink those memories away._

_"I'll have what she's having" A new but familiar voice spoke. The room around her was blurry, she couldn't make out who it was, but she knew them._

_"Where's the plus one?" Piper heard herself ask._

_"There is no plus one anymore,"_

"Then we're in the same boat," Piper again heard herself respond. "Let's get out of here,"

_The conversation that started it all._

_The scenery around her changed in an effortless blur._

_She was pushing the other woman roughly onto her bed. They were all teeth and nails, tugging at each other's hair. Neither was in the mood for soft and gentle apparently. They were rough at night and they were no different with each other during the days. She didn't go through the motions but that's how she felt. The scenery changed again._

_Zoe. Her name was Zoe, Piper recalled, but what did she look like?_

_Piper walked through a door, a dull light shining behind it. The first thing in the new place was a clock showing twelve thirty am._

_It had been almost exactly a year since that night. She had already had to work a double shift that day because another employee was out sick, and by the time she got home, she was exhausted, furious, and irritable. Why did she feel this way? What happened. She missed something. Today was special, what day was it? Looking around the room at the disjointed scenery before her, she cringed, the place was a mess._

_"What the fuck happened to you? I've been waiting!" She heard the voice she associated with Zoe yell out from the darkness._

_"Don't start with me, you do not want to fight with me right now!" Piper growled trying desperately to keep her temper in check._

_"Oh yeah, and you're going to tell me what I want?!" Zoe snapped angrily placing her hands on her hips facing Piper, who was not affected nor amused. "No, not when you're this late!"_

_"Late?! What the fuck am I late for exactly, besides from my break from you?!" Piper sneered. "Why are you in such a tizzy?! I'm sorry, let me guess, did I forget to start the laundry again?!" Piper asked feigning remorse, but feeling none as she pushed her way passed the pissed off brunette and tossed her coat and bag on the coffee table._

_"Bitch, it's our goddamn anniversary! You think you'd remember!" Zoe yelled when she spun around. "Oh wait, you wouldn't because you're always drunk or high or both!"_

_Piper totally forgot, but she couldn't bring herself to care. The only anniversary she remembered was of the day she left Alex in Paris._

_"Just because I work at a fucking bar, doesn't mean I'm always wasted! But if I did drink more, I'm positive it'd help me deal with your sorry complaining ass!" Piper hissed. "Besides, where the fuck were you?! I had to work extra shifts because we were short people today and you couldn't be bothered to come in?!"_

_"It was my day off, I'm not a doctor, I don't have to be on call to wait on you hand and foot!"_

_Piper balled her hands into fists. All she really wanted was a warm bath, some relaxing music, a good book, and Alex to curl up next to. But no. She gave all of that up and now she was stuck with whining, complaining, lazy, bitch, who was good for nothing but letting her blow off a fuck load of steam. She would probably have been happier if she was alone, she just couldn't make herself do it. Maybe now she could, right now. "We're done!" Piper announced seriously. "Get your things and get the fuck out of my apartment."_

" _You bitch!" Zoe slapped her right across the face and that did nothing but fuel Piper's anger._

_Piper pushed Zoe away from her, sending the brunette stumbling over the coffee table and landing on the couch. Everything was in disarray. Zoe grabbed a broken bottle that she'd knocked off the coffee table. The brunette lunged at Piper and left a gash on her face. Piper yelped, feeling the sting of pain coarse through her, and the steady stream of blood down her face._

_Neither of them had properly gotten over their exes and as an unfortunate result that they both knew was inevitable, they took out all their anger and frustration out on each other. Their fights had always been bad, but none of them had ever escalated so quickly, probably because this was the first time Piper not only had to deal with her problems with Zoe, but she still had to deal with her feelings for Alex, and with work on top of it all, it was too much._

_Piper tasted the crimson metallic liquid when it reached her lips. She thought of Alex at that moment. Alex had never hurt her physically, but she caused Piper the worst pain of all._

_Piper didn't even know what had happened by the time the police were pulling her off of the other girl. Her hands were bloody and bruised, and her face stung. She felt strong hands holding her arms behind her back and the cold sting of metal on her wrists. She dared a glance back at the girl who was lying motionless on the floor. The woman's face wasn't even close to recognizable anymore. All she saw was blood._

_Piper was walked past her neighbors, who were all outside of their rooms trying to see what all the noise was about. Some of them gasped, others whispered to each other rumors that Piper could only imagine. That was it. Before she knew it, she was talking with a lawyer her parents had paid for, who was telling her to plead guilty if she wanted less time. Their voices were garbled, she couldn't even tell they were speaking English, but she already knew what they were saying. They spoke of the drug charges for what the police found in her apartment, they spoke of how Zoe may not recover, and that assault charge meant a lot of time._

She was endlessly tossing and turning, only waking up briefly when Red even commented on it at one point, telling her roughly to pick a side, close her eyes, and shut the hell up. That made Piper smile before she fell back asleep, as it gave her the briefest moments pause from enduring the memories she'd never escape from.


	15. Chapter 15

The following days and weeks were better. They spent increasing amounts of time together. Piper kept her eyes and more importantly, her hands off other girls, and Alex didn't prod her as often about her past despite her curiosity. Though they were together more, Piper's attention was still in high demand almost constantly. She had been relatively tense lately because she caught Tricia using drugs again and has refused to acknowledge her existence since. She was under pressure from Mendez for whatever operation she and Red were running out of the kitchen, and Nicky was always up to something that needed Piper's involvement. On top of all that, she had been having more frequent meetings with her lawyer about the drug charges and that made it increasingly difficult for her to spend any extended period of time around Alex. Of course she did her best to make time for her. They ate together and they usually would have the chance to talk for a few minutes before lights out, but that was about it.

Alex on the other hand spent a lot of time, when she wasn't working, either reading or talking to Kozlov. They had grown closer the more they talked and Alex found it refreshing, but she also knew Piper was not a fan. Piper hadn't said as much, in fact she was always relatively playful whenever she interacted with Brigit, but Alex could tell that she was jealous of how much time the two were spending together in her absence. It was enough to notice, but not enough to make Alex want to bring it up. When Piper started having more meetings before the trial, she felt a little bad and did her best to avoid the subject. She actually did her best to avoid seeing Piper directly before or directly after those meetings because it always had her in a bad mood.

Today was the worst it had been though. Piper had her trial today. She didn't even say so much as a goodbye to Alex before she left. To be fair though, she had left pretty early in the morning. With Piper not around she expected to be a little bored but in all honesty she hardly noticed. They didn't spend that much time together regularly, it was just different that she wasn't with her at breakfast.

"Mornin' beautiful," Brigit's distinctive voice came from behind her in the cafeteria line.

She grinned and looked over her shoulder to see the woman smiling at her. "Morning,"

"So, Chapman isn't around today, huh?"

Alex often wondered what their history was with each other, but whenever she brought it up to either of them they deflected or changed the subject, which only made her more curious. "Yeah, her trial is today,"

Brigit clapped her on the arm. "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine,"

Alex scoffed. "I'm not worried about it, just heaven knows what she's like when she's angry,"

Brigit laughed as if she were reminded of something from long ago. "Oh I know alright,"

They got their trays and Nicky waved them over. Typically when Piper was around they didn't sit together. Alex shrugged and took her usual seat next to Nicky while Brigit took the seat across from her that was usually reserved for Piper. Doggett gritted her teeth and scowled at them bitterly.

"So the trial, she gonna be back in time to see the juvi kids you think?" Nicky asked.

"I don'-" Alex started to answer but she was cut off by Brigit.

"Probably, those trials don't usually take that long since she's already in the system and she's pleading guilty," Brigit answered.

Alex looked at her curiously. "Did she talk to you about it?"

"She might have mentioned it at one point a while ago," Kozlov shrugged.

"You guys getting on better now? I know it was iffy there for awhile," Nicky directed at Brigit.

"Oh, well, you know Piper and I will always have an interesting relationship," The blonde said thoughtfully with a grin.

"Chapman," Doggett growled under her breath, but no one paid her any mind.

"But yeah, better than before," She caught Alex's gaze.

Could it be that she was misreading Piper's reactions to her spending time with Brigit? She would have bet her life she was jealous, at least a little, but if she had been talking to Brigit too, then what was that about. "Interesting considering she wouldn't probably say the same things about you,"

"Feel free to ask her yourself, but look, it's not like we spend tons of time together, 'Lex," Brigit assured her. Nicky looked intently at Brigit now, noting the use of her first name with Alex. How she loathed being the bearer of bad news to Piper. "She mostly talks about you anyway,"

Nicky narrowed her eyes at her, but didn't say anything. Morello took her attention at that moment.

"I talk to her once a week, maybe twice, it really isn't that big of a deal," Brigit put her hand over Alex's, as if to convey the truth to go with her words.

Alex wasn't sure how to feel about that gesture, the feeling of another person was nice and she didn't pull her hand away. Apart from their occasional chaste kisses, Piper barely touched her at all, not even platonically, and of course she had been more careful not to touch her in any way at all as well. Their eyes were locked and she was shamefully a little lost in them. Brigit definitely had more of an easy going attitude about her than Piper did.

The conversation shifted to other more lighthearted topics and eventually they left the cafeteria together. Brigit worked in janitorial which was on the way to the laundry room.

They were just about to part ways when Nicky caught up to them. Alex got the sense that she wasn't there for her though so she bid them goodbye, only moderately curious what was up. She only heard a snippet of what was said between them as she walked away.

"I don't know what your game is,"

"What game, Nicky,"

"Do not mess with Chapman,"

"I can handle her,"

"No, you can't,"

Alex wasn't really too sure what all that meant, but could not stop thinking about it. Several hours passed by slowly and she kept her eyes on the clock. As soon as it was lunch time, she walked down the halls wondering who she would run into, Piper, Nicky, or Brigit. She didn't know who she was hoping to run into first.

It didn't take long to find out. She walked around a corner to hear Piper speaking sharply at someone.

"I do not give a single fuck what you need, I warned you what would happen, now get the hell out of my face," The blonde growled to who Alex recognized as a sober crying Tricia. Piper kept on walking, her hands balled into fists. Tricia just stood there bawling her eyes out. Alex cast her a quick glance of sympathy as she passed her to catch up with Piper.

"Hey, what was that about?"

"I don't know," Piper sighed but didn't look at her. "Who knows what the hell she's up to,"

"So, how was-" Alex was about to ask when Piper just held up her hand, silencing her.

"Do not speak to me about it. Not right now," Piper spat venomously. They walked into the nearest bathroom and Alex was going to respond but something else got Piper's attention instead.

"Ah Chapman, just the woman they were not hoping to see!" Officer Bell spoke from across the room. She was accompanied by a group of young girls from juvenile detention as well as Poussey, Brigit, and Doggett.

Piper rolled her eyes. "Of course," She muttered under her breath.

"Itchy feet ain't the only thing they got to worry about, tell 'em Chapman," Poussey prompted. Usually Piper enjoyed this thoroughly but today was not one of those days.

"Tell them what?"

"We were just talking about the showers," Bell spoke again. "Why don't you tell them what happens when you drop a bar of soap in prison,"

She glanced over the group of younger girls. "I personally use body wash," She said flatly.

"To molest people with?" Bell asked, sounding a little annoyed.

The girls laughed and snickered at that.

"Keep laughin'' little kid, you'll shut up real quick when Chapman gets you," Poussey retorted and Piper just eyed them all viciously.

Alex was curious if Piper was going to show any of her dangerous side that she had displayed mere moments ago. The fury in her eyes had not gone away.

"That's right, Chapman's a stone cold lesbian and she'll put you through your paces," Brigit threatened.

"Is that so?" Piper had a little more energy in her tone now.

"Lesbionic," Brigit jabbed and blew her a little kiss. Alex chuckled a little at the display.

Bell led them around to the other side of the bathroom. "See that fuckin' toilet? No door on the motherfuckin' stall? That sound like fun to you?" Poussey was making grandiose gestures to the toilet stall. "Gotta use the bathroom, everybody see,"

"Even if it's number two," Doggett pointed out from the back of the group of girls, making a few of them turn heads.

"Yeah, one, two, three, it doesn't matter in prison," Brigit spoke ominously, pointedly looking at one of the girls in front who was in a wheelchair.

"I don't care," The girl rolled her eyes.

"You don't care?!" Poussey asked astonished at this girl.

"I don't care," She stated again.

Bell scoffed. "Alright enough of this, you think this is a joke?"

"Kinda yeah," She shrugged ambivalently.

"Well, how bout you spend the night here, just you and Chapman," Bell motioned to Chapman, who was standing stewing quietly in the back, to take over.

"I'm glad you think this is so fucking funny," Piper said calmly, stepping through the group of people now.

Alex just watched her, curious what she was going to do or say.

"I'm glad you think it's funny because the way you are going, you're going to be in here for a long fucking time," She hissed. She stared down this girl and motioned for everyone else to leave. "I've got this," She said over her shoulder to Bell who just shrugged and corralled everyone else to move outside.

Alex, Brigit, and Doggett all lingered, watching Piper closely.

"Out!" She commanded harshly, and only Doggett instinctively obeyed.

Alex and Brigit glanced at each other then back at Piper but they didn't move. She narrowed her eyes at them. "Well?"

"Not today, Piper," Brigit spoke knowingly.

"Alex." Piper nodded toward the door.

"Fine," Brigit rolled her eyes. "Come on," She grabbed Alex by the arm and walked her out.

"What the hell?!" Alex glared at the other woman.

Brigit took Alex's hand and looked into her forest green eyes. "Just accept it,"

Alex was lost for words, and a little lost in her eyes again.

They stood close to the door to hear what was being said, not that they needed to strain themselves to hear, Piper wasn't being even the slightest bit quiet.

"So, now's the part where you try to scare me?"

"No, why would I do that? If you're not scared already, you're not going to be scared by anything I threaten you with,"

"Whatever you say you dyke faggot bitch!"

There was a silence and Alex looked at Brigit questioningly, wondering if they should go back in there.

"You really want to do this right now? You're in _my_ prison little girl, you don't want to fuck with me,"

"I'll take my chances,"

"You are incredibly stupid," Piper laughed. "I'm not able-ist by the way so I don't give a fuck if you're in a wheelchair or walking around, I could so very easily make you my bitch," Piper snarled. "But that won't scare someone like you, right? There's always one,"

"Fuck you,"

"Oh you want some of this, little girl?" Piper laughed. "I used to be like you once, weak, putting up this facade, acting like you don't care, but in here, it'll catch up with you," Piper stalked around her. "Be afraid of the other girls, be afraid of the guards, as you should be, but they aren't the worst things in here," She paused, looking this girl dead in the eyes. "Whoever you are, whoever you think you are, being in here will bring that truth out of you whether you like it or not. Every fucking day will be spent wondering if who you are in here is who you actually are. The truth is gonna make you her bitch, and she will drag you and haunt you and hurt you worse than any other person ever possibly could. Choke on that,"

The girl just looked at her, a thoughtful look in her eyes. Piper just nodded seeing her work was done and she turned to walk away. "Is that what happened to you?" Piper froze.

"I had a life before I got here, I probably was somebody, but it was a lie. I know who I am in here is the real me and it scares the shit out of me," Piper sighed. "If there is anything you can possibly do to not land in here, fight for it with all you have," Piper walked away then.

Alex and Brigit heard Piper walking toward them and they moved away from the door.

"What the fuck are you all looking at?" Piper growled at them all when she stepped around the corner.

"I never get over that speech of yours, Chapman," Bell said dryly. "So inspirational,"

"What can I say its…" Piper was cut off by the sound of the prison alarm system going off.


	16. Chapter 16

Alex stood between Nicky and Brigit and all she could do was watch. She made the slightest move in Piper's direction and instinctively both Nicky and Brigit had hands on her arms, holding her back. She didn't fight them, but her whole being aching to go to Piper, wanting to just reach out to her and hold her. But she couldn't. She was helpless to watch the blonde struggle and fight against the guards ignoring her crimson blood dripping on the floor. They did their best to drag her down the hall and Alex caught a glimpse of her bloodshot eyes, as she yelled at the guards who held her tightly.

They struggled so much to even walk with her that the nurse on site was called to tranquilize her. Alex watched her slowly go limp in their arms and they continued to drag her away to the medical unit then undoubtedly the SHU.

The moment Piper found out what happened, a few hours prior, she had gone off on her own, not really showing any emotion at all, she just seemed kind of numb. Alex wanted to follow her, but something stopped her. It had been a hell of a day for Piper already, she couldn't imagine what Piper was feeling and she figured it would have been best to let her be. Neither Brigit nor Nicky thought it best to bother her either, and they were both lost in their own feelings as well. But it turns out that leaving her alone was the wrong decision, as they say though, hindsight is 20/20.

She didn't see Piper again for several days. Time went by incredibly slowly. Everyone was still raw and hurting from the loss of Tricia. Nicky spent much of her time in the kitchen with Red, and Alex didn't see much of the other girls either. Brigit kept her company though and she kept her mind off the blonde in the SHU.

Almost three weeks passed by before Piper walked back into the cafeteria. Everyone turned to look at her for a moment but she ignored them all. She approached them after having a quick word with Red. She looked at Brigit who was sitting across from Alex but she didn't look surprised or upset at all. "Piper, I can move if you'd like,"

Piper's face didn't change, she looked exhausted, but she shook her head. "That's not necessary, Brigit," Looking closely at her, Alex noticed she was paler than before with dark rings under her eyes, but she had a serious determined look in her crystal blue eyes. Alex wasn't sure what to do with her. Part of her wanted to jump up and hug her, but during the time she was gone, she hadn't missed her that much after the first few days, she was content in finding company with Brigit.

"Good to see you again, Chaps," Nicky got up though, and gave her a quick hug.

"You too, Nick," Piper put an arm around the other woman.

"Well, sit down will ya?" Nicky released her and sat down again. Alex expected Piper to sit on the end next to her, but she didn't, instead, she walked around and sat on the other side next to Doggett and Morello.

She didn't look at Alex even once, but at the same time, Alex wasn't sure what she should have expected though. The whole time she had been there, Piper had kept her feelings and thoughts very close to the vest and she shouldn't expect this time to be any different, despite her hopes for otherwise. The others were talking to her a little, a faint smile barely dancing across her lips, but mostly she was straight-faced and quiet.

Brigit was talking to her most of the time, but Alex had barely paid attention, most of her thoughts were circling the other blonde. Brigit didn't seem to care though, she just kept on like everything was normal.

After breakfast, they went their separate ways and Alex found a moment to catch up to Piper. "Hey,"

"Alex?" Piper turned to her.

Alex looked into her eyes and put a hand on her shoulder. "How are you,"

Piper narrowed her eyes. "Fine,"

"Bullshit," Alex retorted quickly.

"Fuck you, you don't know," Piper spat and continued walking toward electrical.

Alex grabbed Piper by the arm stopping her. "I do know. I know you're not fine, talk to me about it,"

"No," Piper growled. "Alex, you don't understand,"

"Then help me to," Alex took one of Piper's hands, noticing the bandages that she was still wearing over her wrists, she didn't say anything about it though.

Piper stared at her with her piercing blue eyes. "I killed her, nothing I say could make you understand what that's like,"

"You didn't kill her Pipes," Alex said softly, but she saw the rage in Piper's eyes wasn't going anywhere.

"She killed herself," Alex stated.

"I might as well have tied the rope," Piper hissed. "She came to me and I yelled at her,"

"No one can blame you though, you had a rough trial I imagine and you warned her she would be on her own if she kept doing drugs," Alex reminded her.

Piper scoffed. "I forgot about the trial," A menacing and humorless smile crossed her face as she recalled the day. "That stupid fucking trial,"

"Want to tell me about it now?"

"Fuck you, Alex," Piper ripped her hand away from her and grimaced a little in pain after doing so.

"How much time, Pipes?"

"Two years," Piper said flatly, glaring at her.

"What happened? I thought your lawyer said it was only going to be one extra year,"

"I pleaded guilty obviously, but the judge said my history of drug issues and violence called for longer. So again, fuck you Alex," Piper turned to walk away again but Alex kept up with her.

"I deserve that,"

"Yes you do, and more,"

"I'm sorry Pipes?"

"Bullshit,"

"I am,"

"Okay, not as sorry as you should be,"

"What, what else do I need to be sorry for,"

"Nothing important," Piper said cryptically. "I have to go now really, so go run back to _Brigit_. I'm sure she is missing you since you didn't pay her much attention this morning,"

Alex opened her mouth to speak but Piper continued instead. "I'm tired, not blind,"

"Nothing happened between us,"

"Don't do this, Alex," Piper said exhaustedly. "I don't give a fuck if you had your hand in her pants for the last month, but don't lie about it," She didn't know for sure, but she had a feeling and Alex's face said it all.

"It only happened once, Pipes, I'm sorry,"

Piper just rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I can't believe you,"

"You didn't know?" Alex asked and Piper just shook her head.

"Seriously, fuck you, Alex," Piper snapped. "Run along back to Brigit now,"

"I didn't know if you were ever coming back, I was really fucking lonely and I missed you," Alex defended.

"I don't give a fuck Alex," Piper grumbled.

"What can I do Pipes?"

Piper closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't know, Alex, I don't know, you are going to have to figure it out by yourself because I am too fucking tired,"

Alex's day passed by slowly in the laundry room. Doggett talked to her a little about Piper, but she mostly ignored her.

She was caught off guard by Brigit who was waiting for her when the shift was over. She shouldn't have been surprised though because while Piper was gone, that was part of their routine. Brigit would meet her and they would then sit together in the rec room until dinner.

Since Piper's return that morning, Brigit seemed a little on edge but was still her chipper self that Alex enjoyed talking to.

"Did you have a chance to talk to her yet?" Brigit asked after a lull in their conversation.

Alex cringed. "Yes,"

"Didn't go well then, I take it,"

"What did you expect?" Alex scoffed.

Brigit shrugged. "I never can tell, it's hard to predict how she is going to be, and especially after everything, you never know,"

"I told her about us," Alex wasn't sure exactly why that was her response, but she felt like it needed to be said.

Brigit didn't answer right away and she seemed to consider the implications of that information. "And how did she take it?"

"Better than expected I guess, I mean she didn't throw hands or anything,"

"And?" Brigit looked at her expectantly and took her hand in hers.

"And what?"

"And does that mean you're done with her then?"

Alex sighed. "I don't know," The words barely left her lips and Brigit let her go and sat back upsettedly.

"What do you mean you don't know?" She folded her arms and looked at her incredulously.

"What do you want from me? I don't know,"

"She isn't good for you. She isn't good for anyone,"

"And how would you know?"

Brigit again seemed to consider the question. "From experience, and from hearing about yours and every other girl she's been serious with in here,"

"Explain,"

"If you haven't already figured it out, we were together for a while once," Brigit elaborated. "A long while actually, at least a year,"

Alex raised an eyebrow at her. "Right, you expect me to believe it?"

"Ask her yourself if you don't believe me," Brigit raised her palms innocently. "I got closer to her than most people, but…"

"But what?" Alex prompted curiously.

"But you know, that was before,"

"Before?"

"Before she stopped letting people get close to her. There was the incident five or six years ago, I'm sure you heard some about it, but afterward, she was never the same. She pushed me to further than arm's length and that's where I've been since,"

"So what?"

"So we are good acquaintances kind of, but nothing else, and I don't think she is capable of being with anyone probably ever again, she has too much anger and too many insecurities that she hasn't dealt with," She paused. "She's unstable. She's a wreck held together by this image and reputation she built for herself,"

Alex didn't really have words. She just glared at the woman across from her and stood to leave. Brigit grabbed her hand stopping her. "Where are you going?"

"Somewhere else," Alex growled.

"I get it, but don't tell Piper what I said," Brigit's voice broke and she sounded scared. "Please,"

Alex ripped her hand away. "I will do whatever the fuck I want," With that, she turned her back on the other woman and stalked away.

"Oi Stretch, where ya headed in such a hurry," Nicky spotted Alex in the hallway.

"Fuck off Nicky," Alex hissed.

"Christ what's up your ass?" The shorter woman walked in line with her. "Shouldn't you be all lovey-dovey with Chaps or something?"

Alex didn't even look at her. "No. You know. This little situation I'm in is all your fault,"

"How do you figure that?" Nicky raised an eyebrow at her. "Wait wait wait. First I'm gonna need a little more context, what situation are you referring to?"

"Someone tipped Piper off about Kozlov and I," Alex glared at her pointedly, and Nicky did not have a good poker face.

"uh yeah, I might know something about that," Nicky said uncomfortably. "So what's the problem, I thought you liked Kozlov?"

"I do, er not like that. It's complicated. The point is, knowing they were together, didn't raise any red flags when you introduced us?"

Nicky just looked at her for a moment. "Hold on, what?!"

"Oh please, don't play dumb. You must've known," Alex folded her arms.

"I swear I didn't! You know how hard it is to get information out of that woman?!" Nicky thought for a moment. "Huh. now that you mention it, that would explain quite a few things though. Interesting,"

"Interesting is not the word I would use," Alex rolled her eyes. "So do you have anything helpful to say?"

"I don't know, you kinda got yourself into this by fucking around with other people, just like you told her not to do," Nicky shrugged. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Be helpful,"

"Wow," Nicky chuckled. "Big brain ideas you got there. How can I help? You have to figure your shit out first, who do you want?"

Alex didn't answer right away. "I don't know,"

Nicky sighed but smiled and clapped Alex on the shoulder. "You probably need to figure that out,"


	17. Chapter 17

Neither Piper nor Brigit spoke to her for the remainder of the day. She sat with Nicky and the rest of them at dinner but wasn't really engaged in their conversation until Nicky turned to her after Morello left.

"I've been thinking about your dilemma. Did you by chance decide what you wanted?" The shorter woman asked.

"It's been like one hour, I have barely had a chance to think," Alex messed with her tray of food, not in the mood to eat.

"I've been thinking and you know what? It doesn't actually make sense," Nicky said thoughtfully.

Alex looked up at her when she didn't continue right away. "What doesn't?"

"If Chapman and Kozlov were a thing, A. why didn't she tell me? B. why wasn't she more upset when I introduced you? C. why would she let any of that continue?" Nicky explained. "That's not what she does, she doesn't do that, even if whatever they had was _special,_ no way she would have just let it go, she's done a lot worse to people for less,"

"So what are you saying?" Alex looked at her curiously. "You saying Kozlov made it up? Why would she?"

"Because she likes you? Because she wants to start drama? Who knows, she could have more screws loose than I thought," Nicky shrugged. "We could just ask Chapman about it,"

"Mhmm, and that would do what, exactly?" Alex eyed her skeptically. "Either of them could be lying at that point,"

"Yes, but the thing is, I trust Chaps more than I trust Kozlov. And I am telling you, as the resident Chapman expert, she would not be into that, she would not have let you get so close, and she probably wouldn't lie about it if we asked her directly," Nicky paused for a moment. "The thing is though that if we bring it to her and Kozlov was lying, there is no telling what Chaps will do to her, so you have to be sure you want to go down this road. If she wasn't lying though, then that is a whole other can of worms that you'll have to figure out between you,"

Alex tried to think of what kind of consequences there would be in either situation and neither was particularly appealing to her. "Thanks, I'll think about it I guess," she finally responded as they had stood to leave.

"Good luck," Nicky said over her shoulder, leaving Alex to walk alone.

Alex had a lot to think about and she didn't want to deal with anyone. She just returned to her bunk and lay down. She thought over every word of her conversations with both Piper and Brigit and the more she thought about it, the more crazy Brigit's words sounded. She didn't want to deal with that. She knew deep down that she could never really be with anyone if they weren't Piper. Unfortunately for her, she found that out the hard way, never really being able to get close to anyone in the years following Piper's absence. When she tried, it never went well. Brigit seemed different but at the same time, she knew herself, and she knew it would never have gone that far. With Piper on the other hand, clearly the woman was a mess and so different than she remembered but still so familiar and she was getting to know her again. She felt like they maybe could work again if they just didn't have to contend with so much drama.

She forced herself to stand for count, then was back to her thoughts while she tried and failed to sleep. Eventually, she did fall into the land of dreams, but it was anything but restful. Awaking the next morning she knew she would rather figure things out with Piper than be with someone new. Despite how much she enjoyed talking to Brigit, it just wasn't the same as talking to Piper. Decision made then.

"Hey Nicky," she beckoned the shorter woman over to her from across the hall where she was talking to Morello.

"Stretch," Nicky eyed her curiously. "This is what you want then?"

"Have you seen her today?"

Nicky waved her over to look out the window. "There she is," She pointed out to the fence by the track where the blonde appeared to be sitting. "Now's as good a time as any, ready?"

Alex just nodded and followed the other woman outside. "Chapman," Nicky got the other woman's attention as they got closer. Piper looked up from a book she was reading and Doggett who was sitting not too far away jumped to her feet.

"What do you want? She's busy and doesn't want to be bothered!" The brunette growled.

"Chapman, seriously, what the fuck is this?!" Nicky stalked around the shorter woman.

"Doggett, get out of the way," Piper commanded. "What do you guys want?" She glared up at them as they came to stand in front of her. "At least sit-down or something,"

They did as she asked and sat down.

She looked at them both curiously. "So are you going to tell me what you want or are you just bothering me for shits and giggles?" She did not sound amused.

Nicky and Alex shared an uneasy glance. "Tell us about Kozlov," As soon as her name left Nicky's lips, Piper narrowed her eyes at them.

"Why?" She asked skeptically.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you two were an item way back when?" Nicky asked quickly, clearly just trying to rip off the bandaid and get it over with.

"I'm sorry, what? You can't be serious," Piper laughed. Piper noted the glance they shared. "You two cannot truly believe that Brigit and I were in a relationship, especially you, Nick, how would you miss that?"

"So that is a no then?" Alex asked pointedly.

"Yes of course that means no, Alex. Who the fuck told you that bullshit?" Piper was becoming a little more serious now, and neither of them responded right away. "You need to tell me right fucking now and you both need to put it out of your minds because it never happened!" Piper continued.

"So what did happen between you then?" Alex dared to ask.

Piper sighed and folded her arms in defiance. "What do you think happened?! Huh? What do you want me to say? She lied to you. Nothing ever happened between us, ever, got it?"

"Yeah, clear as day, Chaps," Nicky nodded. "So you're not planning on taking any form of retribution for this are you? You don't really need the trouble,"

Piper just looked at her. "We'll see, she's closer to you than me, Nick, she clearly did not heed your warning, so maybe I do need to be more involved,"

"Hold that thought, why don't you just let me try again, and if she gives you any more trouble then you can deal with her however you want," Nicky suggested and stood.

"Fine," Piper grumbled. "But this is her last chance,"

Nicky nodded and left them alone.

Piper just let out a sigh of exasperation and allowed her head to fall back tiredly against the fence. "I am so tired, Alex,"

"Didn't sleep well?" Alex jabbed and Piper opened her eyes to look at her.

"Of course not, I haven't slept well in years, and after getting used to the SHU for three weeks, last night was brutal, but that's not what I meant," She let her eyes fall closed again. "I'm so tired of everything. I'm tired of being here. I'm tired of all of the shit every single day. I just want it to stop,"

Alex maneuvered herself to be leaning against the fence next to the blonde. She didn't know what to say to that but it made her feel uneasy. A few moments passed in silence before she found something to say. "So why do you bother?"

Piper opened her eyes and looked at her again. "As opposed to what?"

"Why do you get involved in everything then, why don't you just put your head down and stay out of the drama?"

"Why do you think I don't try to stay out of it?"

"Come on, Pipes, you may not be the same person from back then, but I find it hard to believe you are not still the drama seeking girl I knew," Alex chuckled and Piper just smirked and put her head on Alex's shoulder.

"You may be right, but I'm still so tired of it," Piper sighed. "I want to just not anymore,"

"I'm sorry for making things worse for you," Alex let her head hit the fence and she looked up at the sky.

"It wasn't all your fault," Piper muttered quietly. "Things just have a way of happening in here,"

"I'm still sorry, about the trial, about Tricia, about Brigit, ...about Paris," She trailed off and Piper looked up at her.

"I'm sorry too, Al," Piper said sadly. "But, if not for all those mistakes, we never would have been brought back together,"

"Sounds about right," Alex paused. This was a nice moment they were having and they were few and far between, she just wanted to enjoy it. After a moment she continued. "What are you going to do to her?"

"What would you like me to do to her?"

"Does it matter what I say?"

"Potentially,"

"You'll do whatever you want anyway," Alex shrugged. "Don't hurt her,"

"We'll see," Piper sighed. "After everything would you say we're even now?"

Alex pretended to count on her fingers. "You hurt me, I hurt you...and so on, yeah I suppose we can call it even,"

"Cool," Piper stood up, offering Alex a hand. She led them back toward the building.

"So what now?"

"We're going to pay someone a visit, then we'll see, how about lunch?" Piper smiled, and Alex couldn't help but nod and smile back. Maybe things weren't as bad as she thought.


	18. Chapter 18

"Hi Brigit," Piper pulled out the chair to sit down across from the other woman and Alex cautiously took the chair in between them. She got a glare from Brigit, but Piper snapped her fingers bringing Brigit's attention to her and away from Alex. "Hey, hi, over here,"

"Hi, Piper," she grumbled. "What do you want?"

Piper smiled. "Oh there are just a few things I thought we should talk about, I'm sure Nicky found you by now, but I don't want you to think I am above taking care of things myself," She spoke calmly and sweetly almost, but Alex could still hear the malice in her words.

Brigit's eyes skipped over to Alex for a brief second, but it was long enough. "Don't look at her," Piper shook her head. "You look at me, okay, she cannot help you,"

"Piper, why are you doing this?" Brigit asked innocently, but Piper just kept gazing at her intently.

"You know what you've done," Piper took one of Brigit's hands in her own and held it tightly.

"Piper, please, I didn't mean it, I didn't, I just…"

"You just what?" Piper asked, narrowing her eyes at her.

"I don't know," The girl whimpered. "I don't know, I just like you Alex, you don't have to be with her, you don't have to go back to her, she's not a good person, I can be good though, I can be good to you,"

"Mhmm, can you be good though? News flash, we are all in prison, we have all done bad things," Piper squeezed Brigit's hand, digging her nails into her flesh making her wince a little in pain. "Do you really want to fight with me?"

"You don't need to fight over me, I am an adult thank you very much I can choose to be with whoever I want," Alex interjected.

They both looked at her then. "Of course. Surprisingly, though it may seem like it is, this isn't about you. You came to me, so, clearly, you already made your decision," Piper said smugly to which Brigit scowled.

"I thought we had something, Alex," Brigit whined and Alex felt a little bad.

"You don't need to hurt her, Pipes," Alex put a hand on Piper's arm and looked into her eyes.

"Fine," She said then looked back at Brigit. "If you so much as whisper anything about me or Alex ever, I will see to it that you won't even be able to call for help when I am through with you, do you understand?"

Brigit nodded quickly and Piper released her grip on the other woman.

"Do either of you have anything you need to say?" Piper looked between them.

"Can we still be friends?" Brigit looked at Alex carefully.

"Hell N - Alex, that is your decision," Piper did everything to stop herself from saying hell no.

"Yeah, I'm gonna say no," Alex was a little disappointed, she did like having someone else to talk to, but it wouldn't have worked out if she said yes.

"There you have it, folks," Piper pushed herself up from the table. "I'll be watching you,"

"I'd expect nothing less," Brigit responded. Piper turned to walk away and waited for Alex to join her.

They walked out of the rec room and down the hall toward the cafeteria as it was almost time for lunch.

"How chivalrous of you," Alex commented while they stood in line.

Piper shrugged. "That's what you said you wanted. To make your own decisions,"

"Yeah, I guess I didn't expect you to just back down like that though,"

"I already told you, I'm tired," Piper sighed. They went to sit down but instead of taking their usual seats, Piper guided them to a table off away from the others.

"This is new," Alex remarks as she sat across from the blonde.

Piper shrugged again. "I just wanted to have you to myself for a few more minutes,"

"Chapman, boss bitch of the prison, going soft are we?" Alex jabbed playfully.

Piper glared at her, but couldn't hold it and ended up grinning instead. "Not a chance, Vause, not a chance,"

"You sure about that?"

Piper's grin widened a little, and Alex swore she saw some of the light brighten up her crystal blue eyes again. "Maybe,"

"So you want to get out of here or something?" Alex asked suggestively.

"Yes, Alex, I really do, but I can't be late to electrical today," Piper said sadly and Alex frowned. "But, how about I stop by around five o'clock to pick you up and I'll take you somewhere nice,"

"Sounds fancy, where are we headed?" Alex played along.

"Oh just this little place I know, it's not too far,"

"Can't wait, I'm looking forward to it,"

"It's a date then,"

The hours passed by relatively slowly, Alex wanted to be with Piper again. The whole time she was working she just thought about kissing her and having her hands on her. She wasn't sure if Piper would actually let her touch her at all, but it was nice to imagine either way.

In the electrical room Piper's time was also going by slowly, but mostly because Nicky kept badgering her about Alex.

"There's nothing to tell Nicky," Piper shrugged.

"You're telling me, you just sat there and stared off into the distance in silence?" Nicky raised an eyebrow at her.

"Obviously not," Piper grumbled over her shoulder, while twisting some wires together.

"She chose you, at the very least I'd expect you to seem a little happy about it,"

Piper threw her hands down on the table and looked up at her friend. "I am happy about it,"

"Uhuh, and this is how happy people act?"

"You're so annoying. Yes I'm happy about it, but at the same time, I don't want any more drama. Being with anyone means drama. Being with Alex means lots of drama," Piper sighed.

"Is it drama, or commitment, that you are worried about?"

"Why are you like this, when did you suddenly become a shrink?"

Nicky shrugged. "Who am I to say anything. But you don't seem happy. You seem scared. And the Chapman I know doesn't get scared,"

"Well, maybe that Chapman died with Tricia, and I don't think I can be her anymore,"

"And this has what to do with Alex?"

"You are the one who brought this up, why don't you tell me," Piper said boredly, trying to work on the wires again.

"Could it be that you are scared of being with her again?"

"She's been here for months, no, I'm not scared of her," Piper didn't bother looking up at the other woman.

"You know what I meant. I mean like being being with her, with feelings and things,"

"You know how I feel about feelings," Piper warned.

"Yes, but just because you don't like them, doesn't mean they don't exist, and you will have to deal with them,"

Piper sighed again and looked up at her. "What are you saying now,"

"Just let it happen. Feelings are scary, and feelings for a person who hurt you and vis versa are scarier, but what do you have to lose," She laughed. "I mean take a look around Chaps, you don't really have much,"

"Dignity? Reputation? My mind? Myself?" Piper listed.

Nicky seemed to think. "Okay okay, fine, don't then. But will you be able to live with yourself? Alex chose you, she offered herself to you, again, after everything, will you be able to live with yourself if you let her go and she moves on with someone else?" She paused. "You weren't before why is this different,"

"It's not. Jesus. We are going on a date later, happy?!"

"Haha, okay! That's all you had to say," Nicky clapped Piper on the shoulder. "That'a girl! Why didn't you just say so?"

"Were you here for any of this conversion?" Piper glared at her. "I am trying to keep it low key, because of drama, and feelings..."

"I'm happy for you. This'll probably be good for you,"

"I don't know what you mean by that," Piper grinned. "Hey look at the time, I've got to get going," The shift was finally over and Piper was ready to get away from Nicky.

"Have fun, Chaps," She heard Nicky say as she walked away.

It had started out with a nice talk Piper led her to the chapel, but as soon as they got inside all bets were off. Piper couldn't keep her hands off her any longer. Within moments, she had her hands under Alex's shirt and their lips pressed together.

Alex was a little more tentative though, not wanting to cross any lines with the blonde. It was nice to feel Piper's hands all over her again, it almost made up for her not being able to touch Piper at all. Almost. She was actually finding it very difficult to stop herself from tracing her fingers under her shirt, but she managed to control herself.

"May I?" Piper asked breathlessly, toying with the band of Alex's pants.

"I'm surprised you bothered to ask," Alex smirked.

"I don't want to mess things up with you this time, so yes, I'm asking you if you want to do this," Piper responded seriously.

Alex leaned in close so she could whisper in Piper's ear. "Just fuck me already," She smiled when she pulled back and saw the lustful look in the blonde's eyes. She pulled her to the flood and let Piper have her way with her. No one else had ever touched her like Piper did. No one had made her feel as good. As much as she wanted someone to be better, no one could beat Piper. And nothing had changed in all these years.

"Just like old times," Piper grinned as she wiped her hand off on her pants and shifted to be closer to the brunette who was still coming down from her high.

"Mhmm, just like old times, Pipes," Alex smirked up at her.

A peaceful silence fell over them. "So, do I ever get to touch you, or am I just your pillow princess now?" Alex asked looking over at Piper.

Piper flashed a small grin, but all Alex saw was the sadness in the blonde's eyes. "Alex...I can't..."

"You don't have to explain Pipes," Alex said shaking her head and softly putting a hand on the blonde's cheek.

"But I should…" Piper trailed off.


	19. Chapter 19

"You don't have to explain Pipes," Alex said, shaking her head and softly putting a hand on the blonde's cheek.

"But I should…" Piper trailed off.

Piper looked down at her hands, clearly avoiding Alex's gaze. She sighed, trying to find the words that were stuck in her throat, the words that she hadn't spoken out loud before to anyone that she could think of. Speaking the words was just as painful as the memories themselves that she had tried so desperately in vain for years to purge from her mind. She wanted to tell her, but she was so afraid that once she did, Alex would never look at her or treat her the same ever again. Looking up into her emerald green eyes though, Piper knew she had to. "It was a long time ago now, promise me you won't think any different of me," Alex nodded reassuringly. "...I was um, raped by a guard," She paused and squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them again, she caught Alex's eyes.

"Oh Pipes…" Alex said quietly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"No Alex...I got pregnant,"

"Jesus, wha..."

"Alex stop!" Piper snapped. "One of the other girls who had a thing with that guard found out and she and her gang beat me and raped me repeatedly, and somehow, they got their hands on some drugs. They forced me to have an abortion. I didn't want the baby anyways, but having it would have been preferable to everything they put me through for months," Piper managed to explain, a few tears forming in her eyes. "I was so powerless. I had no control over anything happening to me. I couldn't protect myself, let alone that innocent baby," She shook her head and looked away again, more ashamed of this next part. "I tried to kill myself so many times but they wouldn't let me, Alex, I wasn't even strong enough to do that," She was full on sobbing now. Alex pulled her into her arms, holding her tightly. She didn't know what she expected Piper to say but none of that was it. That was so much worse than she imagined.

"No wonder you don't let anyone touch you, Pipes," Alex rubbed her back gently. "Know that I will never hurt you like that, and I will never let anyone hurt you like that again, and I'm glad you're still here,"

Piper buried her face in Alex's shoulder. "Are any of those girls still here?"

Piper shook her head.

"The guard?"

Piper shook her head again and pulled away from Alex, wiping her eyes off on her hand. "No. I took care of them all," Alex wasn't sure she knew what that meant, but she didn't know if she wanted to know.

"No one else knows?" Alex asked.

"No. Some know some of it, but only you know all of it," Piper spoke quietly. "No one else can know, Alex, I'm serious,"

"Pipes," Alex looked at her, trying to convey how seriously she was taking this. "I won't tell a soul,"

They were silent for a few moments before Alex spoke again, still tracing her hands over Piper's back. "You don't have to be strong all the time anymore, Pipes, I've got you,"

"I still have a reputation to uphold," Piper scoffed. "Who else is going to keep these girls in line?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know but it doesn't have to be you. Step back, let someone else carry that weight,"

Piper thought for a moment. "I don't know if I can,"

Alex took her hand tightly. "Try. Try to let someone else deal with the drama, and just be here with me from now on,"

Piper kissed Alex gently on the cheek and leaned their foreheads together. "I love you, I'll try," That statement took Alex a little by surprise but she wasn't going to argue.

"I love you too, Pipes,"

Piper kissed her again before standing and stretching out.

Alex readjusted her clothes and stood up with her, putting an arm around her. "Come on Pipes, I know this nice little restaurant nearby, what do you say to some food?" She continued their little banter from before, trying to lighten Piper's spirits. Piper smiled and Alex grinned.

"Hijacking my date plans, are you?" Piper responded playfully. "Sure, food sounds good,"

"Come on," Alex grabbed Piper's hand and they strolled out of the chapel together. Piper felt lighter, as they walked down the hallway together, like a weight had been lifted ever so slightly off her shoulders. She no longer felt all of the anger and rage that she used to get her through the days. Looking over at Alex, she couldn't help but smile, and Alex smiled back.

"Ew gross, get a room," Nicky intercepted them, walking from an adjoining hallway. They both initially ignored her comment. "Ugh, seriously I can practically see the little hearts radiating off you guys,"

"Cut it out, Nicky," Piper said with a smile.

Nicky narrowed her eyes at her. "Something's different," She looked at Alex. "What did you do to her? Where is my Chapman?"

"Gone, Nicky," Piper answered.

"Gone, huh, prove it," Nicky challenged.

Piper looked at Alex, and she shrugged. "I will," Piper accepted.

The three of them got their food and sat down at their usual table, with Piper and Alex sitting across from each other on the end.

Piper was about to say just how great the food tasted that evening, but Doggett interrupted her. Alex and Nicky both looked over at them to see what Piper was going to say.

"Chapman, anything I can get for you?"

Nicky was about to speak up against the shorter woman, but Piper held up her hand silencing her. "No. Do what you want. You don't have to do anything for me ever again," Nicky gaped at her, and Alex smiled approvingly. The shorter woman didn't seem to know what to do with that information, but she smiled, nodded, and walked off.

"Wow, what was that about?" Nicky was shocked.

Piper shrugged and took Alex's hand. Nicky rolled her eyes and Piper smiled. "I am trying to take a step back from all of that,"

"I think that was a good start," Alex smirked and Piper squeezed her hand happily. Nicky pretended to throw up.

"I don't know if I can hang out with you guys anymore. All of this love is too much for my wicked heart to handle," Nicky laughed.

At that moment, Red walked over and sat down with them. She took one glance at Alex and scowled, but then she saw Piper holding her hand and the smile on Piper's face, she didn't have words for how happy it made her to see Piper like that. "Chapman, get that cheesy smile off your face," Red spoke in her Russian accent. Alex couldn't tell if she was serious or not, but Piper laughed so clearly she wasn't too serious. "Help me with something after dinner, will you?"

Piper looked to Alex, and she shrugged. "Sure,"

"Both of you," Red elaborated.

Alex just nodded. This was sounding less good.

The rest of their time in the cafeteria passed relatively quickly and happily. It was all smiles and laughs for the most part. She had never seen Piper that happy the entire time she had been there. She couldn't help but think about what Piper had told her. All of those terrible things had happened to her, but here she was, still still strong and happy and alive. She looked at her with admiration. Piper caught her gaze and responded mouthing the word 'what' at her, and Alex just shook her head. She didn't want Piper to change anything.

When they went to leave to help Red, Nicky pulled her aside while Piper and Red walked off. "Don't let Red push you around too much. You make Chapman so happy, that's what matters, no matter what Red says,"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Is that what this is about? Red is going to say she doesn't approve of me and Piper?"

Nicky shrugged. "I don't know, but remember, her and Piper are like this," She held up her crossed fingers. "I wouldn't put it past her. Think about it, has she ever actually been nice to you since you've been here?"

"Er, no, I guess not," Alex thought about it. Nicky was right.

"Well go get'em, tiger, maybe I'm wrong," Nicky left with that.

Alex sighed and just walked slowly back to the kitchen.

"What did Nicky want?" Piper asked when she caught up.

"Not much," Alex avoided the question. "So what are we doing back here anyway?"

Piper shrugged.

"I was going to ask you why you were starting things with Kozlov, but during dinner, I got it," Red looked at Alex.

Piper looked ready to fight and Alex tried to defend herself but Red cut her off. "I didn't do…"

"...anything bad," Red finished for her. "No. I am happy you make her so happy, but if you hurt her, do not forget who her friends are," Red warned her. "Now get out of here,"

Alex and Piper just looked at each other. "That's it?" Piper asked curiously.

"Yes. I am happy you are so happy. It is about time you had something good happen to you," Red barely got the words out of her mouth before Piper hugged her tightly. The older woman pushed Piper off her. "Now get out of here before I do actually put you to work!"

Piper smiled and grabbed Alex by the hand as they left. Piper stopped to quickly kiss Alex on the cheek, and Alex just beamed down at her.

They walked out of the cafeteria hand in hand, and suddenly their eight year sentences didn't look so long anymore, at least not now that they knew they both had each other.


End file.
